Originally posted by agent_PUNT
any stuff get rejected from that show that you could tell us about in the form of a funny story?
Here's a sketch that was actually shot. I guess it was changed a lot in Atlanta, and I haven't actually seen the final sketch. I doubt the taped sketch will ever see the light of day.
ďLarry BOT 7000Ē
INT. CENTER STAGE
JEFF AND BILL COME OUT AND SIT ON THE CHAIRS.
Hey, whereís Larry?
THE DOOR OPENS, AND A GIANT 50's STYLE ROBOT WALKS IN. ITíS DRESSED IN A SLEEVELESS SHIRT AND BASEBALL CAP.
GitĎer done. GitĎer done. GitĎer done.
Oh, there he is.
Whatís going on? What happened to Larry?
A P.A. (TBD) WEARING HEAD PHONES RUNS UP.
Larry couldnít make it. He sent the robot in his place.
This is the last straw! Iím gonna go give Larry a piece of my mind.
JEFF EXITS, AND CAMERA FOLLOWS.
INT. LARRYíS DRESSING ROOM
LARRY IS GETTING A PEDICURE, HE HAS SPACERS BETWEEN HIS TOES, AND HEíS GETTING A SCALP MASSAGE BY A KOREAN WOMAN. HE'S READING "HELLA BIG FORTUNE" MAGAZINE.
Larry, what on earth are you doing? You were supposed to be on stage and a robot showed up.
Yeah, thatís the Larry Bot 7000. I didnít think youíd notice.
Didnít think Iíd notice?!? Itís a robot!
But, it says ďgitíer done.Ē Doesnít it?
That's all it says.
Good, it's working.
Larry youíre supposed to be on the show.
I would be but Iím too dang busy, and I canít be in two places at once unless I use the robots. See, Iím gonna have Larry Bots in cities all across the country. And, Iím trying to get one to play a wacky neighbor on the Reba show. Hey, you should get some robots to tell your redneck jokes, Jeff.
Larry, weíre paying you to be on the show, not a box of gears and sprockets.
Don't the robot say Git-R-done? Dang, is it broke again...
BILL ENTERS. HIS ARM IS RIPPED OFF, AND BLOOD IS SPRAYING OUT.
(MATTER OF FACT)
Hey, Larry, your Larry Bot just ripped my arm off. I hope youíre happy. Iím going to my dressing room to eat crackers.
Larry, Billís down to one arm because of the Larry Bot. Now, youíd better shut him off before he does something really bad.
But, the Larry Bot donít have an off switch. I couldnít turn him off if I wanted to.
JEFF GOES TO A GUN CABINET, AND PULLS OUT A SHOT GUN, AND HANDS IT TO LARRY.
Hereís your off switch.
But, Jeff... I canít. I love the Larry Bot.
Larry, it has to be done.
LARRY GETS A SOLEMN EXPRESSION.
INT. CENTER STAGE
LARRY, JEFF, AND BILL WALK OUT. THE LARRY BOT IS TIED TO A FAKE TREE, AND ITíS HOLDING BILLíS ARM.
GetĎer done. GetĎer done. GetĎer done.
I, I canít.
Címon, Larry, heís asking you to do it.
Suck it up, Larry.
I need some time alone.
Okay, if the audience would please clear out of the building for a few moments...
INT. AUDITORIUM EXITS
PRETAPE OF THE AUDIENCE LEAVING.
Get Ďer done. Get Ďer done.
Iím gonna get Ďer done, little buddy. Iím sorry Larry Bot. Iím sorry.
LARRY SHOOTS. WIRES AND SPRINGS FLY ALL OVER HIM.
LARRY HUGS JEFF.
Itís okay, Larry. Itís okay.
I forgive the Larry Bot for taking my arm, Larry.
But, Iím suing your ass off.
Weíll be right back...