David Cross UK Stand-Up Review

[klaus_kinski]

The Guardian, the UK's answer to CNN.com, has posted a review of David's stand-up at the Soho theater. Not the most compelling review, but a review nonetheless.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1283307,00.html

[agent_PUNT]

That's the most polite critic I've seen. But he makes it sound like DC is barely getting laughs in the UK....

[Pali]

Nah, the two times I've gone so far the laughs have been plentiful. People love him, even if he did plug Arrested Development both nights.

[agent_PUNT]

he believes in that show... so I don't blame him. besides, it's a good show. Other than Ron Howard. Whom I despise, because he looks like such a fucking mutant 12 year old.

[send2paul]

My wife and I went along to see David Cross at the Soho Theatre, London, last night, (Saturday 21/08/04).

I made great attempts NOT to find out anything about him. I was going solely on the advice of Jack Black, (School Of Rock), who was quoted on the flyer as saying:
"If you miss an opportunity to see him perform....you're a total a-hole. David Cross dominates my world"
And with that kind of recommendation, you couldn't possibly resist the cheapo ticket at £15, right? So off we went.
"A truth teller in the noble tradition of Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce"
So said the quote from the The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/). This guy most be hot stuff, right?

Wrong.

We got there early. We sat in the front row, directly in front of Mr Cross. However, there were times during the evening when I was reaching for the remote control, and wanting to go and make a cup of tea. David Cross was not that funny.

Starting with a review of porn availibility in London, and then carried on into TV adverts on British TV, the audio tape at the National Gallery, gay men's voices, gay marriages, and some more stuff I can't recall it all came out in a very mediocre style. At this point he was only worth paying a fiver to see.

If that was the warming up, or tame part of the act, we then got onto more "controversial" subjects. With a gag about wanting to go to see the "Passion Of Christ" and sneakily dressing up as a Rabbi and laughing at the screen when Christ was being crucified, he then went into a whole monologue about Christ as a carpenter, the Christ "Teenage Years" and generally Christ stuff. This was clearly a subject he was comfortable, (coming from the Jewish background that he does), and whether accidentally or not, this was the best flowing part of his act.

The show was just short of 1.5hrs. By the time he'd nailed Christ, (as it were), we were about half way through. He'd clearly got the attention of the audience by now, and so he went onto more controversial issues such as paedophilia in the American Catholic church, a couple of comic observations on 9:11, handicapped children on American airlines, and finally a thing about a one year old news item about a Georgia cemetary where the owner was dumping the bodies in the lake instead of cremating them.

By themselves you'd look at the list of subjects above and think: "Yeah - good comedy material", right? Well, yes. But it depends how you treated them. David Cross had a style which I would have catogorised as "unsure". He tended to start a controversial subject, but then did nothing with it. (At the end of his 'gay marriage' stuff he said "But I'm definitley against mixed race gay marriages - OH NO!" And we were left hanging there as we waited for him to explain what he meant by that comic outburst - but he never did).

He had a style which you just wanted to shake roughly by the shoulders and shout:" Wake up that man there!" His treatment of controversial subjects was bordering on the "amateurish" sometimes, and you left with the impression like:"God, I could have done better than that myself!" It's not that I thought he wasn't very good - he was just generally okay.

He ended his act with a couple of impressions, including a crack-cocaine baby, (as he said "I didn't say it was going to be funny, I just said it was going to be accurate" - but it was sick & funny), and a thalidomide drummer - complete with drumming sounds on a backing tape. If you wanted to leave an audience on a "high" with the best part of your act, then David Cross will be remembered for being the sick impressionist guy. If he wanted people to remember him for being a "truth teller in the noble tradition of Bill Hicks etc" - he's really got to sharpen his act up.

At the end of the night he was still worth only a fiver to see.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by send2paul
My wife and I went along to see David Cross at the Soho Theatre, London, last night, (Saturday 21/08/04).

I made great attempts NOT to find out anything about him. I was going solely on the advice of Jack Black, (School Of Rock), who was quoted on the flyer as saying:

And with that kind of recommendation, you couldn't possibly resist the cheapo ticket at £15, right? So off we went.

So said the quote from the The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/). This guy most be hot stuff, right?

Wrong.

We got there early. We sat in the front row, directly in front of Mr Cross. However, there were times during the evening when I was reaching for the remote control, and wanting to go and make a cup of tea. David Cross was not that funny.

Starting with a review of porn availibility in London, and then carried on into TV adverts on British TV, the audio tape at the National Gallery, gay men's voices, gay marriages, and some more stuff I can't recall it all came out in a very mediocre style. At this point he was only worth paying a fiver to see.

If that was the warming up, or tame part of the act, we then got onto more "controversial" subjects. With a gag about wanting to go to see the "Passion Of Christ" and sneakily dressing up as a Rabbi and laughing at the screen when Christ was being crucified, he then went into a whole monologue about Christ as a carpenter, the Christ "Teenage Years" and generally Christ stuff. This was clearly a subject he was comfortable, (coming from the Jewish background that he does), and whether accidentally or not, this was the best flowing part of his act.

The show was just short of 1.5hrs. By the time he'd nailed Christ, (as it were), we were about half way through. He'd clearly got the attention of the audience by now, and so he went onto more controversial issues such as paedophilia in the American Catholic church, a couple of comic observations on 9:11, handicapped children on American airlines, and finally a thing about a one year old news item about a Georgia cemetary where the owner was dumping the bodies in the lake instead of cremating them.

By themselves you'd look at the list of subjects above and think: "Yeah - good comedy material", right? Well, yes. But it depends how you treated them. David Cross had a style which I would have catogorised as "unsure". He tended to start a controversial subject, but then did nothing with it. (At the end of his 'gay marriage' stuff he said "But I'm definitley against mixed race gay marriages - OH NO!" And we were left hanging there as we waited for him to explain what he meant by that comic outburst - but he never did).

He had a style which you just wanted to shake roughly by the shoulders and shout:" Wake up that man there!" His treatment of controversial subjects was bordering on the "amateurish" sometimes, and you left with the impression like:"God, I could have done better than that myself!" It's not that I thought he wasn't very good - he was just generally okay.

He ended his act with a couple of impressions, including a crack-cocaine baby, (as he said "I didn't say it was going to be funny, I just said it was going to be accurate" - but it was sick & funny), and a thalidomide drummer - complete with drumming sounds on a backing tape. If you wanted to leave an audience on a "high" with the best part of your act, then David Cross will be remembered for being the sick impressionist guy. If he wanted people to remember him for being a "truth teller in the noble tradition of Bill Hicks etc" - he's really got to sharpen his act up.

At the end of the night he was still worth only a fiver to see.


hmmm i think you might be wrong

[send2paul]

Dear Cpt Planet,

I clearly can't be wrong - because I was there :)

I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt. I found out nothing about him before went there, and took it all on face value. My only indication about his style etc was from the two quotes on the flyer.

When I came home I then did a quick search on the www to find out more about him, and found that he is quite a well known in the USA etc etc. I can only assume he was having an "off night", perhaps. Some people were talking about his two CDs and wanting to get them signed etc. I wasn't go to buy one.

Incidentally, one person got up and left about three quarters of the way through the show when he started with the 9:11 stuff. Were they upset about his treatment of such a touchy subject? Or were they just a bit bored in places as I was?

No, I clearly wasn't wrong.

[Treebeard]

You should go post at the lame dumbass forum instead of here.

[send2paul]

Ah, stupid me! I thought the title of this thread was thread:" David Cross UK Stand Up Review"

Or is an actual review of his performance, (as opposed to the analysis of The Guardian'd review), not counted as a review of David Cross?

[apotatojudge]

I think we should cut this person some slack seeing as how they went to David's show after hearing that "the guy from School House Rock" thought he was awesome.


Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
I'm a snob.

[CptPlanet]

he should have talked more about airline food! gosh that stuff is rotten huh hahahaha :)

[Treebeard]

ill bet he wishes there would have been more hilarious and crowd-pleasing props.

[send2paul]

Guys & Gals - please.

I like comedy. I'm a very funny guy myself. And I've seen dozens of stand-up comedians. On that night, (the first time I saw David Cross), he simply wasn't that entertaining. I know some of you might find that hard to believe - but there it is :)

[apotatojudge]

Originally posted by send2paul
Guys & Gals - please.

I like comedy. I'm a very funny guy myself. And I've seen dozens of stand-up comedians. On that night, (the first time I saw David Cross), he simply wasn't that entertaining. I know some of you might find that hard to believe - but there it is :)


Once people start defending themselves by saying, "I'm very funny myself" you know they're full of shit.

Your statements are not anymore valid after you claim that you, yourself, are "a very funny guy," nor when you say "I've seen dozens of stand-up comedians" '

The reasons I say this:

You can think you're funny 'cause one time at a kegger you made a bunch of drunk college girls laugh with your hilarious Arnold Schwarzeneger impression. But, it really doesn't make you funny.

I can name DOZENS of shitty stand up comedians. Just because you've seen a whole lot doesn't mean that you know what you're talking about.

"God, David Cross sucks. He wasn't nearly as funny as when I saw Tim Allens. Especially when Tim does that bit about how men and women vaccuum differently - LOL!!"


I am right. David is always funny. So, take back what you said.

[send2paul]

Ha - you need a new life - or at least get one in ther first place.

I don't detract or defend anything I ever say on internet bulletin boards, as I very rarely use them.

Mine was a review of David Cross's performance. It's my review. It's my opinion. You can disagree with it - that's fine. But you can't say it's wrong. You weren't there.

And in case you hadn't realised, "personal abuse" still doesn't change my review :)

[RizzleMcIzzle]

Originally posted by send2paul
Ha - you need a new life - or at least get one in ther first place.

I don't detract or defend anything I ever say on internet bulletin boards, as I very rarely use them.

Mine was a review of David Cross's performance. It's my review. It's my opinion. You can disagree with it - that's fine. But you can't say it's wrong. You weren't there.

And in case you hadn't realised, "personal abuse" still doesn't change my review :)

Well for starters, insulting Julie isn't going to get you out of the situation.

Second, you say you don't defend anything you say on internet bulletin boards, and yet you've been doing so since post 2.

Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, but when you post a negative review about a comedian who is widely liked on a forum, you're basically asking for this to happen. I'm not saying you can't post your review. I am only saying you should just take the criticism your are given as a result of it. David Cross is probably doing the same thing now. :p

[apotatojudge]

Originally posted by send2paul
You can disagree with it - that's fine. But you can't say it's wrong.

For someone so funny you'd think you'd be able to realize when someone is making a joke.

I'm not a fucking 'tard and I know that I can't make you take back what you said.

Sheeeeeeesh.

[send2paul]

Okay - this is a no win situation, and I can't be bothered to blather on here any more about it.

I reviewed David Cross. "You" didn't like. You're all very clever, and I'm not.

Good bye. :)

[apotatojudge]

I'm sorry to keep this thread alive a lil' bit longer than it should have, but I had to point out that that dude's only line of defense was his sarcastic smile-y face at the end of his posts.

What gives?


Is Ann Coulter really Andy Kaufman?
I hope not.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by apotatojudge
Once people start defending themselves by saying, "I'm very funny myself" you know they're full of shit.

Your statements are not anymore valid after you claim that you, yourself, are "a very funny guy," nor when you say "I've seen dozens of stand-up comedians" '


hey buddy i'm allowed to say nigger my friend leroy is one!

[agent_PUNT]

This guest of ours 'send2paul' said (and I quote) "By the time he'd nailed Christ, (as it were), "

That was a quote from send2paul's review of the David Cross show.

I apologize for not getting here earlier to smash this moron.

So this "funny guy" send2paul made a joke about how david cross 'nailed' christ. That itself destroys any credibility this dude gets in the field of comedy. Lame ass motherfucker.

Also, he didn't understand the joke about how David is pro-gay marriage but against inter-racial gay marriages...

Which to me, that joke is a good example of David's comedy genius.

This dude mentioned he wanted grab the remote... more proof that he could quite possibly be a tv surfing moron who would rather not think for himself. (ie, he went to the show because a flyer told him to)....

Oh, also he mentioned that he was married. And I'm SURE that his wife said "hey you're funnier than that guy"

Here's my review of your review:

It reminded me of the time I watched my little sister get beaten by my drunk native step-father.

Jack Black said "send2paul's review is a huge dick licking mess of shitty bird asses"

[send2paul]

Dear agent_PUNT,

This reply is for you: (Oh yes Mr RizzleMcIzzle, and others - you'll notice the difference, (hopefully), between "detracting & defending" and replying to someone's comments. You failed to do this before)....

agent_PUNT You said:
I apologize for not getting here earlier to smash this moron.
Q. Why does a quote about Christ from my own review of David Cross make me a moron?

You said:
That itself destroys any credibility this dude gets in the field of comedy. Lame ass motherfucker.
Q. Did I say I had any credibility in the field of comedy? Was I asking for your opinionj on it? What are your credentials for commenting on people's credibilty in the field of comedy? And, why does that make me a "lame ass mother fucker"? Explain please.

You said:
Also, he didn't understand the joke about how David is pro-gay marriage but against inter-racial gay marriages...
I understood him exactly on his 'gay-marriage' stuff. As I had not seen his act before, or knew anything about him, how was I supposed to understand a remark like: "But I'm definitely against mixed race gay marriages - OH NO!" - use psychic powers? And, if you look at what I said in the full context, I continued: "And we were left hanging there as we waited for him to explain what he meant by that comic outburst - but he never did"

You said:
Which to me, that joke is a good example of David's comedy genius.
Comedy genius is not making unexplained statements at the end of a monologue and expecting a laugh.

You said:
...more proof that he could quite possibly be a tv surfing moron
More proof? Was there any other proof? Or did you miss it?

You said:
...who would rather not think for himself. (ie, he went to the show because a flyer told him to)....
If I hadn't heard of David Cross before & knew nothing about him, therefore I would NOT be looking to see where he was performing. So, how many different ways do you think I could have accidently found out that he existed and was performing in the Soho Theatre? (Hint: flyer)

You said:
...And I'm SURE that his wife said "hey you're funnier than that guy"
No, she didn't.

You said:
It reminded me of the time I watched my little sister get beaten by my drunk native step-father
What kind of comparison is that? (And no - it's not even a funny one). Explain to me exactly how your sister getting beaten by your drunk native step-father bears any relation to my review of David Cross at the Soho Theatre, London?

You said:
Jack Black said "send2paul's review is a huge dick licking mess of shitty bird asses"
No, he didn't say that, and he never will.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, that's the "Let's Quote The Asshole" section out of the way, so let's get down to business:

1. I did a review of David Cross' performance at the Soho Theatre in London.
2. Perhaps I got the "wrong end of the stick" with some people's remarks, (it's easy to misunderstand what people 'mean' sometimes when reading text, especially when u don't know who they are).
3. And I know "you" misunderstood me. I reviewed David Cross. Perhaps if I hadn't reviewed him in "The Temple To David Cross" I wouldn't be being verbally abused like some kind of non-believer!
4. None of my smilies were meant to be sarcastic, they were just smilies.
5. As Mr R said "...but when you post a negative review about a comedian who is widely liked on a forum, you're basically asking for this to happen." So perhaps I was a bit naive to post here with the review. Hey ho - that's life.

However, I'm sure agent_PUNT is also a barrel of laughs in the office, bar, and local pool hall etc, but crude, abusive, inaccurate replies & comments to a review is the sign of a weak and feeble mind. But then that could be your best quality, right Mr PUNT?

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by send2paul
Okay - this is a no win situation, and I can't be bothered to blather on here any more about it.

I reviewed David Cross. "You" didn't like. You're all very clever, and I'm not.

Good bye. :)

alright then man i'll see you later

Originally posted by send2paul
Dear agent_PUNT,

This reply is for you: (Oh yes Mr RizzleMcIzzle, and others - you'll notice the difference, (hopefully), between "detracting & defending" and replying to someone's comments. You failed to do this before)....

agent_PUNT You said:

Q. Why does a quote about Christ from my own review of David Cross make me a moron?

You said:

Q. Did I say I had any credibility in the field of comedy? Was I asking for your opinionj on it? What are your credentials for commenting on people's credibilty in the field of comedy? And, why does that make me a "lame ass mother fucker"? Explain please.

You said:

I understood him exactly on his 'gay-marriage' stuff. As I had not seen his act before, or knew anything about him, how was I supposed to understand a remark like: "But I'm definitely against mixed race gay marriages - OH NO!" - use psychic powers? And, if you look at what I said in the full context, I continued: "And we were left hanging there as we waited for him to explain what he meant by that comic outburst - but he never did"

You said:

Comedy genius is not making unexplained statements at the end of a monologue and expecting a laugh.

You said:

More proof? Was there any other proof? Or did you miss it?

You said:

If I hadn't heard of David Cross before & knew nothing about him, therefore I would NOT be looking to see where he was performing. So, how many different ways do you think I could have accidently found out that he existed and was performing in the Soho Theatre? (Hint: flyer)

You said:

No, she didn't.

You said:

What kind of comparison is that? (And no - it's not even a funny one). Explain to me exactly how your sister getting beaten by your drunk native step-father bears any relation to my review of David Cross at the Soho Theatre, London?

You said:

No, he didn't say that, and he never will.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, that's the "Let's Quote The Asshole" section out of the way, so let's get down to business:

1. I did a review of David Cross' performance at the Soho Theatre in London.
2. Perhaps I got the "wrong end of the stick" with some people's remarks, (it's easy to misunderstand what people 'mean' sometimes when reading text, especially when u don't know who they are).
3. And I know "you" misunderstood me. I reviewed David Cross. Perhaps if I hadn't reviewed him in "The Temple To David Cross" I wouldn't be being verbally abused like some kind of non-believer!
4. None of my smilies were meant to be sarcastic, they were just smilies.
5. As Mr R said "...but when you post a negative review about a comedian who is widely liked on a forum, you're basically asking for this to happen." So perhaps I was a bit naive to post here with the review. Hey ho - that's life.

However, I'm sure agent_PUNT is also a barrel of laughs in the office, bar, and local pool hall etc, but crude, abusive, inaccurate replies & comments to a review is the sign of a weak and feeble mind. But then that could be your best quality, right Mr PUNT?

3000 words later i mean! OH!

ps i didn't read that

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by send2paul
Ha - you need a new life - or at least get one in ther first place.

I don't detract or defend anything I ever say on internet bulletin boards, as I very rarely use them.


You don't?

Oh and pulling the "get a life INTERNERDS" card to get you out of an argument stopped working in about 1998.

[send2paul]

Everybody, please - chill out. I also don't want to start pulling apart previous threads where "I have said, he has said, she has said etc"................ it's not comedy, it's not even "good forum etiquette" (if such a thing exists).

Why can't we all live in a world of peace and harmony? I was in the post office earlier today, (no, not sending you all birthday cards), and there was a mother scowlding her child for swinging her legs whilst waiting on the chair: "Summer! Stop doing that!"..........'Summer' - such a modern parents name don't you think? And then I was reminded of one of the better moments of David Cross' performance - his little bit on "modern parents".

So you see - life is great......and so was Alexander - but he was a gig guy in some 'sword & snadals' movie, I think. Still, his mother loved him I suppose.....Mrs Alexander. It must have been interesting down at the creche:
"Yes Mrs Alexander your son is turning out to be really....welll 'Great' - I'm sure he'll have a bright & successful ruler & conqueror at this rate"

Anyway, who'd have thouhgt it, eh? Back again. Was it really 3000 words before? (No smiley including incase of misinterpretation).

[3v3+Z]

StP is just Crossy fuckin' with us.

[agent_PUNT]

Q. Why does a quote about Christ from my own review of David Cross make me a moron?

A: No no no, it doesn't make you a moron, it just proves that you are infact a moron. :)



Q. Did I say I had any credibility in the field of comedy? Was I asking for your opinionj on it? What are your credentials for commenting on people's credibilty in the field of comedy? And, why does that make me a "lame ass mother fucker"? Explain please.

A: Why are you writing a review of comedy if you have no credibility? Why now do you admit that you have no credibility after arguing so hard to defend yourself? Don't answer those. My opinion is worth nothing. But neither is yours. So I find your opinion to be shit and I let the world know. I take pleasure in knowing that I have upset some dude who I have never met. It makes me chuckle. I guess that is why I chose to call you a "lame ass mother fucker", instead of a dirty pile of vaginal fluid.You are a "lame ass motherfucker" because you are plain, unoriginal and irrelevant. If you prove me wrong I will love you. But for now, I stand by the opinionJ that you are going to grow old and realize that you screwed up. My credentials are that I am pretty much the greatest person you've never met. Just as I can't really know you simply by reading a thread on this message board, you can't know me. So you have to trust me that I am right. Just trust me.


Q. how was I supposed to understand a remark like: "But I'm definitely against mixed race gay marriages - OH NO!" - use psychic powers? And, if you look at what I said in the full context, I continued: "And we were left hanging there as we waited for him to explain what he meant by that comic outburst - but he never did"

A: Yes, it definitely needs explaining. Because someone who is for equal rights of gays and lesbians, would logically be FOR equal rights for all races. It's simple logic. His statement was ridiculous and obviously made in jest. If you think about the social commentary as well (did i just use that fucking cliche? yes i did)...then you would get it. Left hanging? What? Think about it, I could make a flyer that would better explain the joke if you'd like?



"Comedy genius is not making unexplained statements at the end of a monologue and expecting a laugh."*


*Actually, that is comedy genius.


...more proof that he could quite possibly be a tv surfing moron



Q: More proof? Was there any other proof? Or did you miss it?

A: The majority (and I'm generalizing here, sorry) of people who don't like DC are tv surfing morons who don't want to think... they want to have a laugh track so they know what is funny. Then, when they are placed in a situation where they are unfamiliar they get scared and confused.... ignorance breeds hate. (ie you were ignorant of DC's style, and you thus got scared because you didn't understand and so eventually you hated him). I hate you because I don't understand you. See how it works? (I don't hate you).

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...who would rather not think for himself. (ie, he went to the show because a flyer told him to)....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: If I hadn't heard of David Cross before & knew nothing about him, therefore I would NOT be looking to see where he was performing. So, how many different ways do you think I could have accidently found out that he existed and was performing in the Soho Theatre? (Hint: flyer)

A: So in other words.... you went to the show because a flyer told you to. Got it. Check mate.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...And I'm SURE that his wife said "hey you're funnier than that guy"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


No, she didn't.

A: Yes she did. (not really a question but come on, we know she did)



quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It reminded me of the time I watched my little sister get beaten by my drunk native step-father
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: What kind of comparison is that? (And no - it's not even a funny one). Explain to me exactly how your sister getting beaten by your drunk native step-father bears any relation to my review of David Cross at the Soho Theatre, London?

A: Okay, first off, it is funny. Secondly, it was poetry and poetry doesn't always make sense. Thirdly, he was beating her while I wrote the reply and so I guess it was just a cry for help. Although her cries for help were alot funnier. you're right. Fart.



Q: However, I'm sure agent_PUNT is also a barrel of laughs in the office, bar, and local pool hall etc, but crude, abusive, inaccurate replies & comments to a review is the sign of a weak and feeble mind. But then that could be your best quality, right Mr PUNT?

A: I am funny all the time yes. Except on the internet, when I come across as an unfunny asshole. I would definitely agree though, that my sense of humour is one of my best qualities. I totally agree that my comments could be a sign of a weak and feeble mind. However, the problem is that I only say crude things for a reaction. I love to get reactions. People will either understand that it's a joke and laugh along, or people will get offended and feel they should set me straight. I ofcourse do this because it makes me laugh. I fear that you might do this because you seriously feel you have to defend yourself. Aslong as you are a good person, don't worry about what someone else thinks about you. Really great people don't defend themselves, they defend their ideals. David Cross doesn't give a shit what you think about him, aslong as you understand that what he is saying is right. He is using logic to break down religion, ignorance, hatred and political bs. That's what makes him great. And that's what makes you wrong.

weee! no one is gonna read that.

[send2paul]

LOL - what is cross fuckin'? Can't imagine its sanctioned by the Church Of Rome? (No smiley again - see previuos post)

[Pali]

That's right other English guy, get lost, the internet isn't big enough for both of us. Oh and I did go to see David Cross at the Soho Theatre, and I can tell you conclusively and beyond all rebukeability, that he rocked and you are wrong. I'd also hazard a bet that you're unattractive and have a tiny penis.

I should note I only read half way until I got bored and stopped.

[send2paul]

agent_PUNT - congrats - I knew you couldn't resist a reply! :) :) :) Smilies all round! :) :) :)

[send2paul]

Pali - I have a HUGE knob - ty :) (no webcaming though!)

[agent_PUNT]

My reply kicks ass.. especially the last part.

Just read the last part if you don't want to read the whole thing.

AND send2PAULY SHORE: Stop posting here! You hate us! Remember?! You are not out smarting us because we are replying to your posts... that's what we do here. Don't feel special, someone writes something and then everyone replies. Go buy some new drapes with your wife or something.

OR,

Go on amazon.com (or.uk whatever) and buy the Mr. Show seasons 1-3. Then come back to us.

P.S. To Pali, I'm just now starting to realize how special you are.

[send2paul]

I hate no-one agent_PUNK. My life is full of love, and red corpuscles etc.

I need no drapes - my life is complete, at least on the curtain front anyway.

I cannot even spell the word annnimossicity , so I can't even feel it towards you or anybody else here.

There is only harmony.....and used tissues in the side pocket of the car. (Insert smilie if you wish)

[Pali]

The last part of that post was very good Punt, I'm not gonna read the beginning though, I have to finish these pringles before the buzz wears off. And what could be more special than an Englishman who has seen all Mr. Show episodes a hundred times over plus pretty much everything all the cast members have ever done.

Back to that cock/webcam topic we were on for a moment there though, funny story. Once a friend of mine forgot to turn his webcam off on MSN while he was jerking off. I had to sit there watching for a whole 5 minutes till he finished up, very uncomfortable.

[agent_PUNT]

haha... the obvious "what didn't you turn away" springs to mind... but I assume what you meant was that "she forgot to turn it off" and you had to watch for 5 minutes until "she finished"....

Hey Pali, it must be awesome to know that Bob thinks that all British people can fly (silly Nancy).... and all they think about Canada is that we have a province called "Saskatchetario"...



actually there are a couple more Canadian references...

I can only think of button collection man on the local world news...

anyone?

Fuck now I'm gonna have to go watch all the epsiodes. Starting with the magic pan.

Send2Paully Shore: Watch Arrested Development.

And misspelling PUNT with PUNK is as original as changing PUNT to CUNT. And if you ever use the word tissue in a joke again, it better be talking about your friend jerking off on his web cam, otherwise it is misused.

Oh that's right. I went there. Smiley face!!! rofl!!!!

:D

[Treebeard]

You HAD to sit there and watch him jerk off? You must be gayer than send2paul.

(note: the only reason i say send2paul is gay is because, in general, i only hate teh gays. however, it is entirely possible that he is inactuality a lesbo)

[Pali]

It's just that funny image I like, of the gay guy who is disgusted by his own homosexuality. He sits there watching gay porn all day with a disgusted look on his face.

The story's true though, except it was a friend (who is female) who happened to be using my computer and saw it. At first she thought I was gay and had been covering it up or something. Then once I straightened that out, she insisted on watching it for the 'surprise ending.'

[send2paul]

Gay, lesbo, we are all God's creatures - whether we be molested in the Catholic church by paedophile priests or not.

Did I really mispell Punk? That was just a typing frenzy (Genuine smiley coming up...) :)

Misued & abused tissues? Urgh - can't bear the thought of it. D'ya think there's a home for "Retarded Kleenex"?

Anyway kids it's way past my 'downtime' now, and I need to regenerate. It's been terribly alternative being here. I'll be back later...somewhere else on the forum, for a less-than-bias view on things.....fruit...Latin American salsa...that kind of thing.

Be sure to be good to each other while you're alive because it's not true what the t-shirt says: ( "Zombies Do It Standing Up") - they actually fall apart when they really get down to it.

Caio caio :)

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by send2paul


I'll be back later...somewhere else on the forum, for a less-than-bias view on things.....fruit...Latin American salsa...that kind of thing.
Caio caio :)

Paul, dude, everyone is welcome here, BUT, dude, let me remind you why we are here. We are fans of the Mr. Show with Bob and David.

You don't like David. You probably have little idea who Bob is... and I can pretty much guarentee you've never seen the Mr. Show.

This isn't my site, so I don't get a say in anything, but it would be really FUCKING AMAZING if you would check out the show before posting anymore.

Go check out some of the old threads that talk about favorite episodes/ favortie sketches.

Please, please, please don't just start posting random conversation shit all over the place. If you were a fan of the show it wouldn't bother me much... But the fact that you come on here and say that you wasted money seeing David Cross live, while you sat front row... that is a fucking slap in all of our faces.

People here would kill for that chance.

My buddies and I drove over 7 hours, paid 50 bucks US, and slept in our car just to see DC do 45 minutes of stand-up. I find it insulting that you will come on here and start posting like you are all buddy buddy when infact you don't even like Mr. Show.

This website is dedicated to Mr. Show.

So please, give the show a chance. Give David another chance. Prove me wrong. Don't consider me a total bad guy here.

It's like if I were to go on a Jesus fan site and say "oh hey I went to a church last week and Jesus sucks"

You see what I'm saying?

I don't respect that shit.

I do it, I just don't respect it.

P.S. I didn't go to a chuch last week and Jesus sucks.

[Treebeard]

Originally posted by agent_PUNT
People here would kill for that chance.

I would kill send2paul for significantly less.

[send2paul]

agent_PUNT,

You're absolutely right - on everything. I've even been trying to download stuff off the net to continue my education. I know, (now), that David Cross is obviously a great guy, comedian & entertainer. I just didn't get all that when I saw him.

I'm off on vacation tomorrow but hope to have some stuff to listen to, (and hopefully some videos downloaded to watch), when I get back.

Apologies for all the banal shite I've been typing, but some of the less educated comments on what I'd said, (in what whichever post I made it in), deserved a lot more than the timid reponses I came back with.

This is a good forum. You're very "protective" here , and that's a good thing.

Anyway, time for bed - a long drive in the morning. G'night y'all.

p.s. I didn't go to church last week, (or last year), either. This is why I visit my mother on weekdays, and preferably non-Saint days.

[Rabot]

Originally posted by send2paul
I've even been trying to download stuff off the net to continue my education.[/B]


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Mandragore/download.jpg

[send2paul]

Nice :)

[CptPlanet]

send2paul is like the stuffy white detective in a buddy cop movie and it's about 40 minutes into so now he's learning to have fun with his hip-hoppin negro partner because he realizes that even though they're from different sides of the tracks, they can still learn to laugh together.

and i'm the streetsmart, headstrong rookie! :)

[send2paul]

LOL - yassum! :)

[agent_PUNT]

That would make me the crusty old desk Captain who is taking heat from the Mayor.

I take it out on you two, but secretly I can't get an erection (oh I can GIVE an erection, I just can't get one).

Not enough downloading I suppose.

LOL, LMAO! ROFL! fart.

[Bradkeenan]

Everyone who seemed to talk badly of david cross seems to have little or no understanding of who he is and where he is from..

I am a huge fan of Mr Show.. And i must say, the fist time a watched it i did not find it funny at all.. But after a while i warmed to it and now i love it..

so i just wanted to say to the guy who claimed himself to be pretty funny... your probably not.. your friends have just warmed to you and probably just humour you.. leave the comedy to people like David Cross who are behind some of the people you probably claim are "the best" in comedy (ben stiller, jack black)

I am going to see the british show on sat.. If its not funny i will give you a call so you can crack a couple of classics!

[agent_PUNT]

I love this new kid. Welcome BradKeenan.

[klaus_kinski]

Brad Keenan, are you related to Gareth Keenan?

[send2paul]

Dear Brad,

Thanks for keeping the thread alive. I have never been honoured in such a way in all my life - to be "sniped" at etc by complete strangers at every available opportunity, or so it would seem.

Some people would pay good morning to be abused by complete strangers :) In fact, if you'd seen David Cross in the Soho Theatre, you could have walked no less than half a block to the nearest sex shop and paid the same price as you paid for the ticket - for a 15 minute spank..... or so someone told me ;)

Keep up the good work chaps! :) (non sarcastic smiley)