Oh my god you guys.

[tjamick]

So its like 2 am and i'm walking home from the sunoco because i needed cigarettes and cola and chips. any ways, when walking to the entrance to my dads bungalow a saw this little bunnie and i moved toward it, but it just stayed there. i got closer, but it never moved. i frinally kneeled down to touch it and it wasnt scared or anything. it was totaly spiritual.
isn't that awsome?

[3v3+Z]

Yeah, sure.

I read through all that expecting a lame-ass, vulgar-for-its-own-sake "punchline". THAT'S the thing that really impressed me. (Not that I'm Mr. Innocent in that regard.)

[tjamick]

oh man, the bunny was really cute too.

[Pali]

I like it in here, it's quieter.

[tjamick]

hey pali, do you have any cool stories? i would ask steve, but he's not sensitive enough to understand these types of moments. life's little presents as i like to call them.

[3v3+Z]

Originally posted by Pali
I like it in here, it's quieter.

A-fucking-men to that! Christ, if I wanted a chat room, I'd go to a chat room!

[3v3+Z]

Originally posted by tjamick
hey pali, do you have any cool stories? i would ask steve, but he's not sensitive enough to understand these types of moments. life's little presents as i like to call them.

Yeah, I'll give ya one of life's little presents!!!

http://zoltantakacs.com/zt/im/scan/reptiles/25966_340.jpg

HA! BEAT THAT, Buddy Bell!

[Pali]

Ok sure.

Once when I was 8 I was awoken by the sound of helpless screams. I rushed downstairs like a devil boy on some kind of twisted christmas morning in hell. I found my mother panicking in the kitchen. 'What up?' I asked her. 'Oh lordy lord lord' she replied. 'It would seem the cat has brought a live bird into the house, and it's in the bathroom!'
Quick as a flash I charged right to that bathroom, to sort this mess out once and for all. I found the bird lurking beneath 2 rolls of shitrag and a copy of Gardeners World. 'Fuck you!' I yelled at the little bird.

Episode 2: This bird has not yet flown

The bird looked at me and I at he. Then before my eyes could even register it's intentions it flew past me, out of the bathroom. I chased it with as much might as I could garner. But I chased it too hard..right into the patio doors. BLAMO!..the bird lay still on the floor..nothing but a crunched up boneheap. This isn't how I wanted it to end, if only he had listened to me. This was the day I learnt how fragile life is, how such an elegant and beautiful creature could lose it's life with only a head on collision with a reinforced glass pane at 30mph.

The End

[tjamick]

thats not one of gods little wonders!!!:eek:

[tjamick]

ok. you can stay in the "precious moments club" but youre on probation.

[agent_PUNT]

when i was a kid my best friend was a goat at the local petting zoo.

[tjamick]

thats sooooooooooo sweet. you can be in the club. you know that magic lives in everyday life.

[Treebeard]

One time i was having intercourse with sjb and then this bear came up and started riflinf through our campsite, and, well, to make a long story short . . .

THREE-WAY!

[CptPlanet]

So its like 2 am and i'm walking home from the sunoco because i needed cigarettes and cola and chips. any ways, when walking to the entrance to my dads bungalow a saw this little prostitute and i moved toward it, but it just stayed there. i got closer, but it never moved. i frinally kneeled down to touch it and it wasnt scared or anything. it was totaly spiritual.
isn't that awsome?

get it because the prositute was dead

[agent_PUNT]

i don't get it.


hey treebeard, sometimes you make me laugh, and other times I wish you were that dead prostitute.

word to the extreme! be-bop foreva!

[Treebeard]

tell me what posts make you laugh and what ones dont and i will just act like that all the time, and god willing, eventually i WILL be the dead prostitute

[agent_PUNT]

well, it seems the one's that you let your 7 year old brother write on your behalf are the ones I DON'T like.

Unless that last post was written by your 7 year old brother, because when HE talks about being a dead prostitute it makes me hot and wet, like a dog licking it's vagina (that smacking sound is fucking sweet).

if that rabbit (which started this thread) did that infront of me, I'd probably start believing in God again. (Not that right now, I don't think God exists, I just stopped believing in his abilities, ever since I saw him playing beach volley ball with that group of kids from the library... I stopped believing in him. you know what I mean?) probably not.

[Treebeard]

okay ill remember that

[CptPlanet]

punt you need to step off our grill dawg

[tjamick]

its reasons like that that we hate canada. that and tom green. what the hell were you people thinking?

[CptPlanet]

i loved the tom green special "Fartin' in Public"! that guy is a genius in his own right! :rolleyes: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[RizzleMcIzzle]

Yeah, his own right of being a stupidhead!

You heard me!

[tjamick]

like when he wanted to suck the cop's ass until all of the methane was gone, shit yea he's funny.
like andy kaufman without material

[CptPlanet]

i want to feel his canadian goatee pressed firmly against my balls

[tjamick]

that would be hilarious

[CptPlanet]

but he tackled testicular cancer with a winning smile and an attitude that screamed to the world that QUIT is a four letter word!

then he said nuts a whole bunch lol what a genius instead of using the real name he said nuts or balls!

[tjamick]

remember the song he wrote about it? i have one of those mp3 players that hold 5000 songs, and its full of that one and the bum bum song.

[CptPlanet]

i bet your dick stinks

[tjamick]

like julie's ass


REVERSAL





















you see, what i implied there is that julie and i had anal sex.

[CptPlanet]

Fact: If you fucked Julie's ass, your dick would not even touch the sides unless you're Lexington goddamn Steele. Plus, even it did, it wouldn't be worth all the bug bites.

[Treebeard]

please throw your golf pencil into our mine shaft

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by Treebeard
please throw your golf pencil into our mine shaft

now i'm gonna go drink some victory gin and strangle a prole

[apotatojudge]

The Rules of Attraction is a terrible movie, if only because Dawson's in it.

But Shannon Sosymon (sp?) is hot.

Oh, wait, I almost forgot:

You guys! Geeez, stop it with the cracks about having sex with me. It's so offense and not funny at all.

[apotatojudge]

I felt it tried too hard, way too hard.

I hate any movie that says, "Yea! Look at today's youth! They all do hard drugs and have lots of unprotected sex and commit suicide! Woooooah! Misguided youth is so hip!"

That whole guy talking about his trip to Europe was lame.

That's why GO sucks. That's why KIDS sucked.
Wait, KIDS just sucks.

Not as much as Bully sucked though.

[Treebeard]

http://blowupthemoon.com/community/avatar.php?userid=759&dateline=1092269964

I'd hit it.

[Tommy]

Originally posted by Treebeard
please throw your golf pencil into our mine shaft
I heard that on an episode of MadTV!!!

...and to think... I respected you as a comedian and a human being.

[Tommy]

P.S. -- Rules Of Attraction rocked.

[AndersLevant]

Also, Shannyn Sossamon rocks and is definitely way hot. You guys may know this already, but she was in three episodes of Mr. Show.

[Treebeard]

Originally posted by Tommy
I heard that on an episode of MadTV!!!

...and to think... I respected you as a comedian and a human being.

That's from Patton's CD, fool. I'll just assume that you were being sarchastic.

[Tommy]

Ironically, it really was on MadTV too.

My respect for you has been reinstated.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by apotatojudge
I felt it tried too hard, way too hard.

I hate any movie that says, "Yea! Look at today's youth! They all do hard drugs and have lots of unprotected sex and commit suicide! Woooooah! Misguided youth is so hip!"

This coming from the girl who invited my to suck a heroin laden Cherry Icee out of her asshole. Well, I accept your delicious proposal, miss! Let's kick this shit off.

[3v3+Z]

Hey Tommy,

Was it, per chance, on an OLD episode of "MadTv", like when Patton was a WRITER? That wouldn't be so ironic.

Or maybe it's just one of those folk-jolks with no real author, like "Don't stick yer dick in these holes" or "Jingle bells, Batman smells..."

Or maybe... hey, what the fuck are you doing watching "MadTV"? I think I've mentioned it here before, but I have a visceral reaction to that show. If I turn on the TV and it happens to be on, I can't get at that remote fast enough! The only show I feel the need to switch faster is "Arli$$". But to each his own, I suppose.

[3v3+Z]

I hope that didn't come off like I was pissed at you by the way, Tommy. I'm just fucking with ya. We kid 'cuz we care.

[CptPlanet]

this is fun :rolleyes:

[CptPlanet]

you two need to quit bickering like menstruating housemates and start cranking out some comedy goddammit.

[CptPlanet]

you're about to learn a whole new meaning for suffice, buddy

[Treebeard]

you're about learn a whole new meaning for orifice, buddy

or at least you're going to have more than you used to