knock knock jokes

[Stabby]

does anyone know a good comedian that does knock knock jokes cause i bet thatwould be real keen.

[Stabby]

ps i ment to make this a poll so you can vote for your favorites

[tjamick]

i've done a few knock knock jokes in my act.

[Stabby]

ok tell some. if i die in the two hurricanes that are coming through tomorrow and friday i want to have a knock knock joke on my tombstone so give up some good ones because I might be dead :) and if my dvds dont blowa way you guys can share them ok

[tjamick]

knock
knock

[Stabby]

whos there

[tjamick]

Maya Angelou

[Stabby]

Maya Angelou who?

[tjamick]

Maya Angelou, you know, the black lady.
i was in roots.

[tjamick]

:p :p :p :p :p

[Stabby]

:mad: NEXT!

[tjamick]

thats the best joke eva

[tjamick]

knock
knock

[Stabby]

this better be MUCH BETTER!

whoos there?

[tjamick]

Bret

[Stabby]

bret who?

[tjamick]

Bret Michaels front man of 80's hair metal super group Poison.

[tjamick]

give me at least some credit. i'm making these up as i go along.

[Stabby]

i can make up better ones as i go along but i dont want CRAP on my tombstone this is VERY SERIOUS TJAMICK!!

[tjamick]

i'm just re-posting these from the blue collar board, but here are some good lame jokes.


Q:Why didn't hitler have an herb garden?
A:Because he was too busy killing jews.

Q:Why won't my dad show me his ass?
A:because he's very modest.

Q:how many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 1. there quite good at those sort of things.

Q: What did the doctor say to the janitor?
A: move.

Q: what do you call jesus when he dresses up as a clown?
A: nothing, my lord wouldnt do such a thing

and, of coarse, the best joke ever writen

"this is my impression of dave coulier if he COULDN'T do a popeye voice: 'thats $6.75'"

[Stabby]

i wish you were as good with knock knock jokes as you were with jokes about dads, but i guess you can get 2nd choice of my dvds but its a rotation, like the draft so you better think it over.

ps i also want a picture of two girls making out and a flying dinosaur with amohawk on my tombstone so whoever draws that will get all my vhs movies and 3rd choice of dvds. thats a good deal guys

[tjamick]

how do i add a picture to a post?

[3v3+Z]

Like this:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0856/neptune/35.jpg

[tjamick]

yeah

[3v3+Z]

"Yeah" what? That's it! That's how you do it! Now you try.

[tjamick]

i made the dinosaur picture and i want to flaunt it.

[3v3+Z]

GO AHEAD!!!

[tjamick]

how?

[3v3+Z]

I THINK you just click the "Choose File" button next to the "Attach file" thing under where you type your response. I don't know for sure. I've never tried it with an image that wasn't already on the web somewhere.

[tjamick]

thanks

[3v3+Z]

Knock-knocks & knockers on my tomb sto-hoo-one,
Hey, hey, hey hey yeah...

Proud a' ya, Teej.

[3v3+Z]

So how the fuck would a knock-knock joke work on a tombstone anyway? I mean, that requires a little back-and-forth, ya know? Maybe you could rig something where you pop up out of your grave using robotics or something to deliver the punchline. That might be cool. But if it's just printed on the stone, you'd need to keep it to a one-liner, I think.

Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Stabby.
Stabby who?
EXACTLY! Stabby who! He couldn't pull off this tombstone knock-knock thing and now he's fucking NOBODY!

http://www.nbc.com/nbc/footer/tmyk/images/tmyk_logo.gif

[Treebeard]

I think you could do it with pictures. Like a picture of one guy for the first part, and then a different dude for the second part.

[3v3+Z]

What, like hieroglyphics?

[tjamick]

maybe thats all that they are. a whole bunch of lame knock-knock and blond jokes.

[Treebeard]

Some of them are about how the dark skinned slaves and the light skinned slaves dance differently. The guy who made that one was rich.

[3v3+Z]

Originally posted by Treebeard
Some of them are about how the dark skinned slaves and the light skinned slaves dance differently. The guy who made that one was rich.

Yeah, but everyone called him dick!

[3v3+Z]

A what?

[tjamick]

you even too nerdy for us.

[tjamick]

do you have any spirit mongers? i need them for a deck.
i'm gonna go shoot myself.

[RizzleMcIzzle]

I like Harry Potter if that answers your question.

[tjamick]

part. it was good, but my adhd leaves alot of books half-read

[tjamick]

thanks, i heard of the book, but didnt know the name.

[CptPlanet]

Awesome TJ. I didn't know you liked Hunter S. Thompson. I just finished The Great Shark Hunt and right now I'm thinking about going to take a dump but I'm still weighing the pros and cons.

[tjamick]

yeah, i'm reading hells angels at the moment, and just finishe fear and loathing in america.
do you ever read his weekly segment on espn.com (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/archive?columnist=hunter_s._thompson&root=page2)? its fucking great.

[tjamick]

only about 10% is about sports. he talks about fireworks, absenthe, and white slavery and those types of things alot.

[CptPlanet]

i might get blasted for bringing up sci-fi but does anyone like orson scott card?

[tjamick]

i'd put money on stabby not posting for a few days, then when we all start to cry thinking he's dead, he's gonna jump out of this oversized cake i bought.

[CptPlanet]

what does stabby have to do with this thread? and why doesn't he update his damn internet comic book website funny page anymore?

[RizzleMcIzzle]

i might get blasted for bringing up sci-fi but does anyone like orson scott card?

I DO! I DO! Well, I've only read Ender's Game, but I thought it was really great. Do you recommend any others?

[Stabby]

well guys this could be it. the BIG! hurricane is supposed to hit us directly tomorrow starting between 11 am and ending around 4. If that doesnt kill me they said expect to be out of power for 5 to 6 days! :eek:

people have been going fucking crazy. Driving through red lights at 90 miles an hour and running through the grocery store dragging their kids by the wrists. if the storm doesnt kill them at least the idiots will kill themselves off. I dont know how to prepare because im stupid and from chicago so i just bought a bunch of water and a flashlight and a tank of gas and some peanut butter and wine so hears to hoping i live.

thanks to everyone for being my friend ill let you guys know if i am alive by posting messages on the internet when i can, if not dvds for everyone! and vhs for tjamick and dvds (also).

[RizzleMcIzzle]

I have so many DVDs, but only one Stabby! :D Please come back safe!

[Treebeard]

I'm all about the Vonnegut.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by Stabby
well guys this could be it. the BIG! hurricane is supposed to hit us directly tomorrow starting between 11 am and ending around 4. If that doesnt kill me they said expect to be out of power for 5 to 6 days! :eek:

people have been going fucking crazy. Driving through red lights at 90 miles an hour and running through the grocery store dragging their kids by the wrists. if the storm doesnt kill them at least the idiots will kill themselves off. I dont know how to prepare because im stupid and from chicago so i just bought a bunch of water and a flashlight and a tank of gas and some peanut butter and wine so hears to hoping i live.

thanks to everyone for being my friend ill let you guys know if i am alive by posting messages on the internet when i can, if not dvds for everyone! and vhs for tjamick and dvds (also).

stabby you're one of my favorite internetters of all! please stay safe. i'm in mclean virginia right now so we might be getting hit too.

[tjamick]

for a second i thought you said "my clean vagina" hahaha LoL:cool:

[CptPlanet]

aw shit son
i set em up u knock em down lole