Graham Norton is an unfunny cocksucking son of a bitch and I hope his mom dies

[CptPlanet]

Seriously. I hated your faggot schtick on BBC and I hate it times ten on Comedy Central. Take your foppish rot back to the unfunny side of the Atlantic you smarmy bleach blond noisy prick.

And another thing, I hate when people think I'm some sort of half-retarded philistine when I don't "get" British "humour". The worst is when they accuse Americans of not understanding how subtle it is. Bludgeoning someone over the head with a heavyhanded joke about masturbating is not fucking funny. Learn what timing and delivery are you goddamn cretin.

None of this applies to Monty Python, they managed to get it right without losing the distinctly British style. But they're the only example I can think of that did it right. Fawlty Towers was an admirable effort, but that's because John Cleese carried it on his back.

These drunken digressions do little to mitigate the fact that Graham Norton is a fucking cheesedick. That's been my point all along. Fuck him.

[CptPlanet]

Also RuPaul is on there right now and s/he sounds exactly like Greg Proops. And I hate RuPaul and I hate Greg Proops. I keep turning around to see if it's him and then halfway through my headturn I realize that it's RuPaul and then I realize that no matter who it is I'm going to be disappointed when I finish turning my head, so I just turn back around and die a little inside.

[Rabot]

Oh you faggots...I hate his chuckle...

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by Rabot
Oh you faggots...I hate his chuckle...

You know what else you should hate about him? Everything.

[Rabot]

Hey, thats just what I hate the most...

[tjamick]

why the fuck is every loke of his either a prop or a website? can't he make up even 1 thing?

[CptPlanet]

I hate his show so much I started playing Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon for X-Box just to get his ass off of my TV and man I fucking hate that game.

Seriously the third mission with the tanks is bullshit you have to take out like 30 guys and you only have six and that's just in like the first 5 minutes what the fuck.

[3v3+Z]

I wanna work up a sketch that's kind of a parody of over-the-top, BAD British s(H)it-coms. People just scream at each other using key phrases like "piss off", "bloody hell" & "wanker". The audience just HOWLS with laughter after they say anything like that. (It's not exactly a FULLY FORMED idea yet.) Some of those shows seem like the British equivalent of "Def Comedy Jam".

[Pali]

Okay, I gotta say I completely agree with your belief that Graham Norton is an unfunny shitkicker. I'd call him a fag, but he really is one, so it just isn't as funny.

But I wanna say that you shouldn't have a go at 'British comedy' because guess what, your fame/talent graph applies to our country as well as yours. In England David Cross isn't famous. Janeane Garofalo isn't famous. Bob Odenkirk isn't famous. Anyone else even remotely funny in the USA is not famous in the UK.

The American 'comedians' that are famous in this country are absolute shite and in the same way any British comedians that become well known in America are also shit. This contributed to my belief that all American comedy was 'friends', until I discovered Mr Show through the wonders of the interweb.

The problem is, it's only those who fall into the 'most famous' catagory in both countries that have a chance of crossing the atlantic. And as we already discovered it's those who are most famous that have the least talent.

One huge example I can give you of modern British comedy that is genius at the level of even Mr Show is Chris Morris who did a show called 'Brass Eye' over here. If any of you are rich bastards with a multi region dvd player I demand you purchase the dvd off amazon.co.uk or something. His show was fucking brilliant, covering as diverse subjects as animals and pedophilia!

Anyway..kinda felt I needed to defend the homeland then.

[CptPlanet]

Pali, you more or less represent your entire country on these boards. As such, I'd like to ask you for more examples of GOOD British comedy.

PS: I tried Eddie Izzard, couldn't understand a goddamn word he was saying, and what I could understand just sounded like "I'm terribly overrated and not at all worth your time. Move along." Please give me more. Is there anything on the level of Python, and do you limeys even like Python as much as us Yanks?

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by 3v3+Z
I wanna work up a sketch that's kind of a parody of over-the-top, BAD British s(H)it-coms. People just scream at each other using key phrases like "piss off", "bloody hell" & "wanker". The audience just HOWLS with laughter after they say anything like that. (It's not exactly a FULLY FORMED idea yet.) Some of those shows seem like the British equivalent of "Def Comedy Jam".

Has this idea ever been done before? If not, WHY? You should just submit all your sketch ideas to tj and let him flesh them out.

[3v3+Z]

I don't think I've ever seen that done before. I have a tremendous fear of something called cryptomnesia. That's where you see or hear or read something, FORGET that you got it from somewhere else and kind of RE-think of it under the impression that it's original.

One HUGE problem with this sketch idea is that not only doesn't it work on paper, the finished product wouldn't even work unless the production is done absolutely right. The more I would do with that without KILLER production, the bigger a failure I would look like. Make sense?

Teej, ya want a crack at it?

[CptPlanet]

Considering that it'd be a more or less textbook satirization of British sitcoms, all you'd need to do is mimic the horrible production value they all seem to have anyway, and then dub over it with ridiculously zealous and hearty laughter. The bad jokes plus the overdone laugh track would be where the humor came from. The production value would be a side note.

[3v3+Z]

Hmmm. I suppose you're right.

I need to connect with some funny people locally and see if I can work some of this shit out. Of course I also need to form a band. I think step one is leaving the house. I'll have to try that some day. Maybe I can take some classes at the local Second City...

[Pali]

Who told you that Eddie Izzard was good? Sure he's not the worst we have to offer, but that gimmicky shit of his gets old fast. A bit like Bill Bailey.

Stand up is in a pretty sorry state in the UK at the moment. Only remotely funny in that context would be people like Simon Pegg or Mark Thomas. Mark Thomas' act mainly consists of him ranting in a David Cross fashion - except without the electric scissors type bits. Steve Coogan did some great TV work in shows like 'The Day Today' before he then went on to become another cog in the hollywood shit factory. Dunno if you have ever heard of the show 'Spaced,' but that was good. As is the film 'Shaun of the Dead' by the same guys, which I think is going to get a US release at some point. Rory Bremner did some great political satire in recent years with his comedy partners Bird and Fortune.

Though none of this is even as remotely funny as Python. But that's to be expected really. The only British comedy I would hold in as high regard as Python today is Chris Morris and his show Brass Eye, I can't stress enough just how brilliant it was as a lampoon of the media. I'll give you an example of its genius from the episode 'Animals,' in which he got several celebrities to endorse an appeal to help an 'East German elephant' who had gotten its trunk stuck up its anus.

Also, I would say yes to the 'do you limeys even like Python as much as us Yanks?' question. Life of Brian is widely agreed as one of the greatest films of all time. Which it is.

[Pali]

Here's an article on Chris Morris, the finest British comedy has to offer at the moment:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1460805.stm

Here's my favourite excert:

One episode, which dealt with a fictitious drug, Cake, prompted the Tory MP David Amess to ask questions in the House of Commons and led to Morris being sacked by Michael Grade, then chief executive at Channel Four.

This is a perfect example of his genius at lampooning the British media, and how with the air of authority they have can put forward information, no matter how absurd, and still have it believed.

[CptPlanet]

I'm reading the article you linked and this guy sounds really funny. Any idea where I can pick up Brass Eye episodes (without paying for them preferably, as I'm broke)?

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by 3v3+Z
Hmmm. I suppose you're right.

I need to connect with some funny people locally and see if I can work some of this shit out. Of course I also need to form a band. I think step one is leaving the house. I'll have to try that some day. Maybe I can take some classes at the local Second City...

You really should. Either that or BUTM should just rent a house somewhere and we could all live in our own hippie comedy commune.

Also Pali, just out of curiosity, what type of American comedy is popular with you guys across the pond? Is it the Ray Romano/Drew Carrey/Will & Grace-style bullshit? If that is the case, I apologize to you on behalf of my entire country. I honestly have no clue how that shit keeps getting greenlighted.

"Here's the pitch, it's a show about 4 unique friends, who each have their own very unique takes on life in the city. For some reason or another, they wind up renting an apartment in Manhattan."

Or if it's not that it's:

"An attractive wife settles down with her new husband in a nice two story house somewhere to start their new life together!"

You are right to hate the American sitcom Pali, because it is all like that. It's completely tame and bland and safe and unchallenging. Goddammit, thanks for reminding me how frustrated I am with pop culture.

[tjamick]

i was thinking we could have a mr. show convention. we rent out a board room, put a picture of bob and david up on the wall and read news papers.

[Stabby]

is she an open minded kind of mom?

[Mystik64]

I've heard good things about this show. Is it any good, pali? All I really know about it is that the reality tv professor from Crossballs plays a zookeeper who's crazy and thinks all the animals are just big furry people. It sounded pretty funny.

[CptPlanet]

what are you guys talking about?

[Pali]

Dunno if you've ever used bit torrent, but there's a few you can get using that:

http://66.90.75.92/suprnova//torrents/2075/Brasseye%20(Chris%20Morris)%202001%20Special(1).to rrent

http://66.90.75.92/suprnova//torrents/1504/brassEYE%201%20-%20Animals%20[DVDivX]%20--%20LeoAcro-avi(1).torrent

And if you've never used bit torrent before, here's a thing you can use to download:

http://bitconjurer.org/BitTorrent/download.html

And yeah, American comedy is on TV a lot over here, most of it being shows like Friends (which is shown repeatedly every day), will and grace, spin city, sex and the city, everyone (or body) loves raymond, king of queens. The really shitty part of the whole thing is when British TV executives attempt to copy these shows, I mean the sitcoms we already produce are crap enough.

And Mystik64, yeah The Mighty Boosh was pretty funny, nothing classic. Has a huge cult following though.

[Dart Shitter]

Viva Los Young Ones, Graham Norton isn't Necesessarie

[thundercock]

i just wann say graham norton is a poofter but he is not brittish hes irish he is pretty funny to us. but i can see y u dont like him he gets annoying as fuck after about 1 minute. bur i just wann say most americans r shite aswell so fuck you wankers you say all this shit from your comps and wouldnt have the balls to say it to someones face you pussy ass fucking dicksucking gaylords

[3v3+Z]

Originally posted by thundercock
...he is not brittish hes irish...

WHAT? Why are you saying that as if it's two different things? WE don't care! Where's he from? NOT AMER'CA!! End of story. Fuckin' foreigners, eatin' yer CHEESE, wearin' yer KILTS, makin' all that PIZZA and PASTA and shit, ridin' yer CAMELS...

[Pali]

Not to mention the fact that we EAT our OWN SHIT, and enjoy giving oral sex to homeless people.

But seriously Irish fucktard, you may or may be aware of this, but a large portion of Ireland still belongs to the Queen. You shit.

[RizzleMcIzzle]

My question, Mr. Thundercock (I highly doubt your cock is anywhere near thunderous by the way) is would YOU have the balls to say the things YOU said to someone's face?

Me, I'd say no. I am all the things you said, hence the reason I am insulting you now like this. So learn to type and stop bugging us, dickweed.

[CptPlanet]

Irish Car Bomb
- 1/2 pint(s) Guiness Beer
- 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
- 1/2 oz Irish Whiskey

Directions/Comments: Mix the Bailey's and the whiskey in a shot glass, drop it in the Guiness, and chug.


That's the only good thing to ever come out of Ireland. Anything else is like, for fags man.

[tjamick]

i have a friend who's relitives hail from ireland, but he's funny so we forgive him. on an un-related topic, i'm part north irish, but there IS a difference.

[Brain Stew]

Originally posted by CptPlanet
And another thing, I hate when people think I'm some sort of half-retarded philistine when I don't "get" British "humour". The worst is when they accuse Americans of not understanding how subtle it is. Bludgeoning someone over the head with a heavyhanded joke about masturbating is not fucking funny. Learn what timing and delivery are you goddamn cretin.
I don't think that liking British comedies makes you any smarter, in fact probably opposite is true. But recently I've started watching Coupling and I find it to be a VERY funny show.

Sort of like Friends and Sex In the City mixed together, only entertaining!

[Pali]

Coupling is shit you dick.

[Brain Stew]

Yes sir. Sorry sir.

[Rabot]

Spaced is great.

[WhatheFLIP]

Originally posted by thundercock
i just wann say graham norton is a poofter but he is not brittish hes irish he is pretty funny to us. but i can see y u dont like him he gets annoying as fuck after about 1 minute. bur i just wann say most americans r shite aswell so fuck you wankers you say all this shit from your comps and wouldnt have the balls to say it to someones face you pussy ass fucking dicksucking gaylords

Gaylords

[WhatheFLIP]

http://www.darkfiber.com/blackirish/Howthe-IrishbecameWhite-med.jpg

[StupidAmerykan]

Seriously. I hated your faggot schtick on BBC and I hate it times ten on Comedy Central. Take your foppish rot back to the unfunny side of the Atlantic you smarmy bleach blond noisy prick.

And another thing, I hate when people think I'm some sort of half-retarded philistine when I don't "get" British "humour". The worst is when they accuse Americans of not understanding how subtle it is. Bludgeoning someone over the head with a heavyhanded joke about masturbating is not fucking funny. Learn what timing and delivery are you goddamn cretin.

None of this applies to Monty Python, they managed to get it right without losing the distinctly British style. But they're the only example I can think of that did it right. Fawlty Towers was an admirable effort, but that's because John Cleese carried it on his back.

These drunken digressions do little to mitigate the fact that Graham Norton is a fucking cheesedick. That's been my point all along. Fuck him.


what the fuck does an Irish dude on a talk show have to do with British humour?
John Cleese carries Fawlty Towers, um yeah presumably by conceiving it , writing it and starring it, jesus you're such a dolt. you know fuck all, monty python was 80 percent garbage its only smug po-faced know it alls that quote python as a work of genius. stop pretending you know shit about shit!
Why do you reference male genitals and homosexuality in your posts so often?
do you secretly fantasize about greedily fellating dane cook?

Anyway it seems clear from your writing that you are a comic genius who's opinion must be respected when it comes to all matters relating to humour,
my favourite comedy nugget of yours "You know what else you should hate about him? Everything." rapturously funny almost pythonesque.
Dude, somewhere out there is a life with your name on it.
Failing that suicide is always an option, don't fear the reaper :)

[ritzik]

party's WAY over friend

[i hate sharing!]

yeah and now there's a shit ton of clean up to do... especially on the 2,000 spam posts a week

[ritzik]

yeah, 2007 was rockin' compared to now...