Drink my milk! Watch my movies! [Archive]

jarrette

05-27-2005, 02:24 PM

Hey everyone! My name is Jarrette AND I have been a huge B&D fan since I stumbled across the show on HBO during their first season. My friends and I are superfans of Dobbs, the SuperPan, English people, and the everest story and every other great walk through the comedy genious minivan driven by Bob and David.

I would be remiss if I didn't tell you guys what my true intentions of posting here are/were/will be.

My friends and I have been making our own super mega low budget comedy movies for a few years starting in 1991 and hell, I think their pretty damn funny. I'm trying to generate some traffic on my site and forum and would really appreciate it if you guys would take a few minutes to watch some of our shit. The site has no ads, no pop-ups, it's free, and there's no crap to muddle through.

Bowl of Cereal Productions (http://www.jarretteschule.com)

Much of our inspiration on making the movies more funny in the last few years has come from Mr. Show, I hope you guys laugh at least once when you watch. Thanks for reading my post.

Stabby

05-27-2005, 02:39 PM

Which videos are the best?
I watched the Lamar Hasso one cause it looked like it had a guy on the toilet (i gotta thing...), and I may have laughed more than once so you filled your quota for the week! But which ones do you reccommend? Also where are you guys from? I see a lot of Chicago paraphaniellia in the pictures.

jarrette

05-27-2005, 02:47 PM

nice, got some laughter.

One of the guys in BOC is Ben Schenk he was born in Chicago and is a big bears fan. Plus he's homeless so I let him be in the movies and also write some ideas for the movies and also film the movies and also write jokes for the movies.

My personal favorites are the elevator (not mr. showish at all), and the brick milestone story.

ME!!!!

05-27-2005, 02:48 PM

No offense to your site (I haven't read it), but has anyone else noticed the large amount of people pushing their website/blog/stupid internet problems on us?

Stabby

05-27-2005, 02:50 PM

cool, i'll check those out.

No offense to your site (I haven't read it), but has anyone else noticed the large amount of people pushing their website/blog/stupid internet problems on us?

Well didn't nostradamus predict that this would be the summer of spam? Hi-oh!

jarrette

05-27-2005, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by ME!!!!
No offense to your site (I haven't read it), but has anyone else noticed the large amount of people pushing their website/blog/stupid internet problems on us?

Show me a better way to become pseudo-famous for free (by not giving male on male blowjobs) and I'll do it.

ME!!!!

05-27-2005, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by jarrette
Show me a better way to become pseudo-famous for free (by not giving male on male blowjobs) and I'll do it.

Open your mind...to giving male to male blowjobs.

jarrette

05-27-2005, 06:03 PM

you guys are brutal. Got suck ratings within minutes of posting.

Well, back to the drawing board I guess. You guys really didn't like any of the movies or are you just pissed I'm "spamming" your board?

teengirlsquad

05-27-2005, 07:13 PM

i cant link to your site because my computer won't allow it. somebody help me.

jarrette

05-27-2005, 07:13 PM

you can just type in www.bowlofcerealproductions.com

Pali

05-27-2005, 07:52 PM

Personally I often like people coming here to advertise their comedic efforts.

I did laugh at least once at this one, so I'm with Stabby on the whole laugh quota thing. Though, and this is just my observation, the stronger short movies seem to be the ones which involved more people.

andytronic

05-29-2005, 09:23 PM

Yo, Pali

Regarding the link [http://homepage.ntlworld.com/nutwoods/Brass%20Eye%20-%20Bad%20AIDS.mp3] I thought the U.S. had the market cornered on reactionary, willful ignorance in the media. What show is that from? This is a sad world we live in. ...or is that show just taking our collective piss? (did I use that correctly? And don't you think I'm hip and worldy for using it?!? Don't worry... I don't either.)

Andykins

agent_PUNT

05-29-2005, 09:32 PM

i'm downloading a few of these movies as we speak. i'll let you know how it turns out.

knowing the people on this board they probably said you suck without actually watching any of the videos, so don't feel bad.

5InchTaint

05-29-2005, 10:47 PM

Go fuck yourself, you goody two-shoes queer.

agent_PUNT

05-30-2005, 01:43 AM

oh ps, I watched a couple and they were boring.

so yeah.

Tommy

05-30-2005, 07:02 AM

Well... nothing here that a plot, better directing and some professional editing can't fix.

Stabby -- when did you sign an endorcement deal with these guys?

Seriously, I admire effort and enthusiasm... but this is the old story of, "It looked funny on paper".

Tommy

05-30-2005, 11:09 AM

This is an example of something without plot, that I find funny:
http://waveny.com/vids/surfin.wmv

jarrette

05-31-2005, 08:47 AM

Originally posted by Tommy
Well... nothing here that a plot, better directing and some professional editing can't fix.

Stabby -- when did you sign an endorcement deal with these guys?

Seriously, I admire effort and enthusiasm... but this is the old story of, "It looked funny on paper".

Sounds like you have the sense of humour of a vietnamese PoW. Is that the only movie you watched? Did anyone actually watch the movies or are you all too angry at your childhood to actually give anyone else praise?

Why don't you pussies get off your whine-box and watch at least 2 movies with an open mind and remember we are doing them with a digital cam with 0 budget. And try to actually watch the movies and not squint your eyes and think about your next seriously unfunny "cutting" post.

ComedySnobedy

05-31-2005, 09:01 AM

how much of that 0 did you budget toward the plot?

jarrette

05-31-2005, 09:03 AM

Just wanted to add...

No Plot - The Elevator has a lot of humour that isn't slap you in your face "ha-ha" funny. It's the uncomfortable feeling of being in an elevator with a stranger when it's dead quiet. If you want deep plot, don't watch 2 minute comedy shorts you fucking queer.

If you want plot watch this.

.Puttin' out Fires - The brick milestone story (http://www.jarretteschule.com/movies/brick-web.mpg)

Professional Editing - huh? I'm not creating a summer blockbuster you moron. What a fucking dork.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 09:04 AM

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
how much of that 0 did you budget toward the plot?

does it really take that much brainpower to disect the elevator? Did you actually watch it?

jarrette

05-31-2005, 09:10 AM

Originally posted by Tommy
This is an example of something without plot, that I find funny:
http://waveny.com/vids/surfin.wmv

HAHAHAHAHAH FOOTAGE FROM THE TSUNAMI DISASTER THAT CAUSED MILLIONS OF CHILDREN TO DIE HAHAHHAAHA HOLY FUCK. now THATS comedy! Jeez thats the funniest shit ever! Now I know my audience.

Tommy

05-31-2005, 10:30 AM

Originally posted by jarrette
No Plot - The Elevator has a lot of humour that isn't slap you in your face "ha-ha" funny. It's the uncomfortable feeling of being in an elevator with a stranger when it's dead quiet. If you want deep plot, don't watch 2 minute comedy shorts you fucking queer.
Uncomfortable isn't funny.

Originally posted by jarrette
Professional Editing - huh? I'm not creating a summer blockbuster you moron. What a fucking dork. Take some fucking pride in your work. Making the editing look professional is something I do, not to be like a "blockbuster", but to look like it wasn't slapped together with duck-tape.

And, have a little sence of humor -- this is a comedy message board. You want an intellectual conversation about your crappy movies, find another board.

Prick.
Originally posted by jarrette
If you want deep plot, don't watch 2 minute comedy shorts you fucking queer. Was it only two minutes, it felt a lot longer.

And I think my initial post wasn't harsh at all... I admired your effort and thought you guys had potential (mainly because you had 5 or so guys and a camera). Learn to take some constructive critisism and shut your hole. Afraid of someone saying they don't like your movies -- don't tell people. Sit in your studio apartment with your pals and masterbate to yourselves on television... or, err... the computer.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by Tommy
[B]Uncomfortable isn't funny.

Guess that's pretty subjective. Thanks for clearing up for the world what's funny and what's not. Guess I should start listening to all those people that say mr. show is crass and not funny at all.

Take some fucking pride in your work. Making the editing look professional is something I do, not to be like a "blockbuster", but to look like it wasn't slapped together with duck-tape.

The elevator got hacked up because the premiere files were lost and we had to shorten the film using just the original mpeg. Did you watch more than just one of our "crappy" movies? Or did you base your "expert" opinion on one movie?

And, have a little sence of humor -- this is a comedy message board. You want an intellectual conversation about your crappy movies, find another board.

Prick.

Personal insults aren't funny. (i'm the new king of what's funny now)

Was it only two minutes, it felt a lot longer.

I bet your movie is way better, can't wait to critique it.

And I think my initial post wasn't harsh at all... I admired your effort and thought you guys had potential (mainly because you had 5 or so guys and a camera). Learn to take some constructive critisism and shut your hole. Afraid of someone saying they don't like your movies -- don't tell people. Sit in your studio apartment with your pals and masterbate to yourselves on television... or, err... the computer.

Ouch, studio apartment, that hurt. I'm so glad you didn't tell me I lived in a duplex! That shit would of REALLY hurt my feelings!

Constructive criticism? lol, calling all the movies "crappy" after watching one?

let's list the "constructive" parts

Well... nothing here that a plot, better directing and some professional editing can't fix.

Uncomfortable isn't funny.

Take some fucking pride in your work.

Was it only two minutes, it felt a lot longer.

You want an intellectual conversation about your crappy movies, find another board.

Prick.

By my picture, I look like a guy that has literally never been laid, however, people don't realize that I'm actually asexual with tendencies towards people in wheelchairs.

I added that last one in, sorry. Is that funny? Just wanted to check with you.

Stabby

05-31-2005, 01:13 PM

oh jeez im never being nice again

jarrette

05-31-2005, 01:17 PM

Originally posted by Stabby
oh jeez im never being nice again

You don't have to be nice.

In fact, I enjoy the criticism as long as it's actual criticism and not just blanket statements that all the movies blow dick. Especially if you haven't even watched them.

In fact I changed my mind, I don't like critisism. You DO, in fact, have to be nice.

agent_PUNT

05-31-2005, 01:21 PM

jarette

I'm sorry but the elevator thing is bad.

I watched that one about the "assmouth" one which was also bad.

I don't give a shit WHAT they look like, as long as they are funny.

It's true that professional looking shots can help make a joke run more smoothly, but it's the premise that matters most.

And those two premises are bad.

The ass mouth thing is just a lame, tired old joke. You pitch a product, then you gross us out, then you expect us to laugh at that.

If it's done with originality than it works, otherwise it's more of the tired old same.

The elevator, although a good concept, doesn't pay off. The music was a nice touch, but it was uncomfortable to sit through it. In a bad way.

I wouldn't show that stuff to people anymore. It's really not smart or funny.

Sorry.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 01:27 PM

It's funny you don't enjoy those, have you watched any of the others?

The reason I ask that is because everyone likes different ones and hates others. The reason is because most of them are thought up by different people.

I think you're missing the point on elevator. But I think a lot do. However, some love it... The ass-mouth thing was kind of thrown together and the humour was supposed to be kind of infantile. However, the idea wasn't really to "gross out" anyone.

I appreciate your honest response and I urge you to check out a couple others. If you don't like ANY of the movies, maybe your sense of humour just doesn't mesh with mine/ours. Which is cool.

Everyone appreciates diff things. Full House was on for like 10 seasons.

apotatojudge

05-31-2005, 01:30 PM

I wrote something mean here and then erased it 'cause I'm a nice girl.

With some nice dreams. See dese ice cubes? See dese ice creams.

ComedySnobedy

05-31-2005, 01:31 PM

is it possible that he didn't miss the point of the elevator one? maybe it's just not funny.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
is it possible that he didn't miss the point of the elevator one? maybe it's just not funny.

not really, i've received a lot of positive response to it. And I find it funny. And I'm smarter than either of you.

apotatojudge

05-31-2005, 01:41 PM

See, if THAT was a joke then you are brilliantly funny!

ComedySnobedy

05-31-2005, 01:59 PM

you know who is a comic genius? Stephen Hawking. Coincedentally, when we were hanging out, I asked him what he thought of your elevator movie, and he made his machine call you a cunt.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 02:02 PM

STEPHEN HAWKING MATERIAL, now THAT is original!

ComedySnobedy

05-31-2005, 02:10 PM

I went the long way around to try to tell you that by thinking you are smarter than someone makes you able to judge comedy more astutely makes you an idiot. and the idea of stephen hawking calling you a cunt through a machine appeals to my nature.

ComedySnobedy

05-31-2005, 02:10 PM

and, you are a cunt. This is my last post in this thread.

scotch-romanian

05-31-2005, 02:11 PM

"boyz in the hole" - 0/5

"Ass-Mouth" - 1/5

"Baby Seal" - 1/5

"zersolixomoxlionos" - 1/5

"Lamar Hasso" - 1/5

"two da extreme" - 2/5

"Putting out Fires" - 2/5

"the elevator" - 2/5

"the ballad of the jehova's witness" - 3/5

didn't laugh at any of them, but the "jehovas witness" thing was kinda touching.

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
you know who is a comic genius? Stephen Hawking. Coincedentally, when we were hanging out, I asked him what he thought of your elevator movie, and he made his machine call you a cunt.this did make me laugh.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 02:13 PM

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
I went the long way around to try to tell you that by thinking you are smarter than someone makes you able to judge comedy more astutely makes you an idiot. and the idea of stephen hawking calling you a cunt through a machine appeals to my nature.

The thing you should try to master is deciphering when someone is using humour and being serious. Now, by me saying I am smarter than both of you, I was using "humour". Since I cannot possibly know if I am smarter than either of you since I don't know either of you, it would be impossible for me to actually know that as fact.

Stephen Hawking has been used not only by mr. show itself, but most comedy hacks. You think Ass-Mouth deodarant mouthwash is "typical" or "been done" somehow, then stephen hawking jokes are the ultimate joke of idiots.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 02:18 PM

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
and, you are a cunt. This is my last post in this thread.

Nice last post pussy. ( I called you a pussy! isn't that funny?)

Pali

05-31-2005, 02:36 PM

No, no it isn't.

But anyway, can't say I found any of those videos funny.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 02:39 PM

Originally posted by Pali
No, no it isn't.

But anyway. can't say I found any of those videos funny.

was him calling me a cunt funny? just curious.

Well, maybe our movies DO suck. Seems pretty across the board here that they do. Thanks for your honest answers.

Pali

05-31-2005, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by jarrette
was him calling me a cunt funny? just curious.

Not really, no.

agent_PUNT

05-31-2005, 03:04 PM

the first two i watched were bad so you tell me to keep watching more?

I don't think you GET how this works.

Anyways, I admire your "go get 'em" attitude.

good luck in your career.

I predict you'll be hired in no time (to wipe Stephen Hawkings' asshole after he takes a dump in my mouth)

That guy shits high school diploma's.

Boy am I fucking hack.

Tommy

05-31-2005, 03:07 PM

I'm really happy that I'm this isn't a one-on-one of telling you your movies suck anymore.

Oh, and this:
By my picture, I look like a guy that has literally never been laid, however, people don't realize that I'm actually asexual with tendencies towards people in wheelchairs.
Would have been funny if you didn't explain your joke:
I added that last one in, sorry. Is that funny? Just wanted to check with you.

It's not funny when you have to explain your jokes, and half of your posts here do just that and add nothing intelligent.

well, this isn't really my career. My friends and I just get together every once and a while and crank out a movie.
You're just making short films for the sake of making short films. Turning on a camera, and editing stuff later doesn't make it funny. Start from scratch and come up with some good material. I have faith in you. Cancel the circle-jerk tonight and make it a writers meeting... I wish you good luck in your efforts.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 03:07 PM

well, this isn't really my career. My friends and I just get together every once and a while and crank out a movie.

It's good to know, however, that you all can be honest enough to tell me that they suck. (seriously)

jarrette

05-31-2005, 03:09 PM

Originally posted by Tommy
I'm really happy that I'm this isn't a one-on-one of telling you your movies suck anymore.

Oh, and this:

Would have been funny if you didn't explain your joke:

It's not funny when you have to explain your jokes, and half of your posts here do just that and add nothing intelligent.

Fuck off.

Not sure I "explained" my joke. I was making sure it was funny from the king of funny - you. Don't want to create any kind of comedy without making sure it's funny to the dorks on this forum.

Tommy

05-31-2005, 03:10 PM

Why did you post your movies here?

I didn't realize you wanted an audience and not critisism.

I'll stop now.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 03:12 PM

Originally posted by Tommy
Why did you post your movies here?

I didn't realize you wanted an audience and not critisism.

I'll stop now.

Hey ugly face, where are your movies? Can I check them out? I want to check out true comedy genious.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 03:14 PM

in fact, has anyone here that hates my movies done anything that is better? I would really like to witness what I am lacking.

Or do you guys just regurgitate mr. show material and live through bob and david?

Tommy

05-31-2005, 03:14 PM

I am filming something now, but I'm not done with it... so I won't show it (not till it's edited and given a nice professional look). This is something I threw together: http://waveny.com/gogo2.wmv

Oh, and I heard you're a fan of my Tsunami video. Thanks, much appreciated.

jarrette

05-31-2005, 03:16 PM

Originally posted by Tommy
I am filming something now, but I'm not done with it... so I won't show it (not till it's edited and given a nice professional look). This is something I threw together: http://waveny.com/gogo2.wmv

Oh, and I heard you're a fan of my Tsunami video. Thanks, much appreciated.

holy shit, that was fucking terrible lmfao. Still shots? nice work! Was that supposed to be an original comedy film or a fucking power point presentation??

Dude, I hate to tell you this, but that shit made "boyz in da hole" look like Godfather 1. You fucking hack lmfao.

Tommy

05-31-2005, 03:23 PM

Albeit there was video in there, I understand that with your ADD you may not of been able to sit through it.

I will take your constructive critisism though and make some use of it. Thanks, much appreciated.

===

Oh, and I decided to take a look at your fan base on your own site. Kinda strange -- the only people I find that are fans of your movies is... well, the people making them and their friends.

Well hey, it's just a hobby, right?

jarrette

05-31-2005, 03:24 PM

as opposed to the fans on your website? Oh yeah you don't have a website...or fans.

scotch-romanian

05-31-2005, 03:25 PM

Originally posted by jarrette
as opposed to the fans on your website? Oh yeah you don't have a website...or fans. he doesn't have a job either.

oh, and you should probably shut up now.

Tommy

05-31-2005, 03:30 PM

http://blowupthemoon.com/community/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2288

Pali

05-31-2005, 04:00 PM

Quit the flame war already.

lynch03

06-10-2005, 01:26 AM

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
you know who is a comic genius? Stephen Hawking. Coincedentally, when we were hanging out, I asked him what he thought of your elevator movie, and he made his machine call you a cunt.

You know Jarrete or one of his friends posted this link on another site, basically to emphasize that you guys were mean to him and he wanted more opinions, and I scrolled through the comments, read this line and registered just to say this.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

apotatojudge

06-10-2005, 01:59 AM

Yea, I don't know how, but I missed most of this thread, and just caught up on it. That was one of the best lines, ever. I want to hug you next time I see you, Snobedy.

This guy Jarette's a fucking tool, guys!

jarrette

06-10-2005, 11:04 AM

Originally posted by apotatojudge
Yea, I don't know how, but I missed most of this thread, and just caught up on it. That was one of the best lines, ever. I want to hug you next time I see you, Snobedy.

This guy Jarette's a fucking tool, guys!

You are SO right, I AM a fucking tool.

And you know what? You are COOL! It's really too bad that all you faggots in here love sucking each other cocks and calling it funny.

I am so glad that you guys don't like my genious movies, because, after all, anyone that thinks stephen hawking jokes (which you stole from mr. show) are still funny and hang out in a forum saluting a show that was canceled years ago are probably a bunch of fucking dorks anyway! In fact, I would say that there is probably about a 100% probability of that being true.

Hey, and pototo skin or whatever the fuck your name is, I live in satx too, so anytime you want to bring your fatass on, bring it.

ME!!!!

06-10-2005, 11:13 AM

Originally posted by jarrette
You are SO right, I AM a fucking tool.

And you know what? You are COOL! It's really too bad that all you faggots in here love sucking each other cocks and calling it funny.

I am so glad that you guys don't like my genious movies, because, after all, anyone that think stephen hawking jokes are still funny and hang out in a forum saluting a show that was canceled years ago are probably a bunch of fucking dorks anyway! In fact, I would say that there is probably about a 100% probability of that being true.

Hey, and pototo skin or whatever the fuck your name is, I live is satx too, so anytime you want to bring your fatass on, bring it.

I love my movies too! Maybe we can get together and masturbate over our collective genius.

You know what, your movies are like a kid with downs. The only thing that could love them are their creators.

jarrette

06-10-2005, 11:16 AM

Originally posted by ME!!!!
I love my movies too! Maybe we can get together and masturbate over our collective genius.

where are they? I would love to see just one :)

You know what, your movies are like a kid with downs. The only thing that could love them are their creators.

Wow, classy. Hey kids in the hall fucking sucks btw. Bunch of queen crossdressing unfunny canadians.

ME!!!!

06-10-2005, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by jarrette
Hey kids in the hall fucking sucks btw. Bunch of queen crossdressing unfunny canadians.

Where's your television show huh. Yea, that's right, you don't have one. Lolz fagz!

P.S All my arguments will now be grounded firmly in the (assumed) fact that you haven't done anything better, nor do you even have a website. Nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo. End.

jarrette

06-10-2005, 11:23 AM

Originally posted by ME!!!!
Where's your television show huh. Yea, that's right, you don't have one. Lolz fagz!

P.S All my arguments will now be grounded firmly in the (assumed) fact that you haven't done anything better, nor do you even have a website. Nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo. End.

huh?

Dude, your a fucking idiot.

ME!!!!

06-10-2005, 11:24 AM

Originally posted by jarrette
huh?

jarrette

06-10-2005, 11:32 AM

stick my head in doo doo?

Wow.

Bottom line is this.

My movies are funny, everyone that I have ever seen watch them laughs at least some. I've screened some in austing film shows and I get a good reaction.

However, the movies are done with a fucking camcorder in a about 3-5 hours INCLUDING editing. These are not going to be as funny as a mr. show sketch that has PROFESSIONAL comedians, actors, writers, etc working around the clock to make it look tight and make people laugh their ass off.

I'm not sure what you thought you were going to get when you watched the movies, but it's def. not network quality stuff. Yet, I think there is some merit to the movies if you really take the time to watch a couple of them with an open mind.

Now I know that you guys are all like scared to lose face in your little forum community you got going here so you gotta look like a bad ass in front of everyone and tell me my movies suck cock. Which is fine. But don't expect me not to flame back when I got bitch slapped for no fucking reason from the get go.

'BEAN' SILLY

06-10-2005, 11:44 AM

jarette's movies have all the subtle charm of a 18th century ROOT CANAL! haha nah im just kidding i havent watched them

ME!!!!

06-10-2005, 12:13 PM

Originally posted by 'BEAN' SILLY
jarette's movies have all the subtle charm of a 18th century ROOT CANAL! haha nah im just kidding i havent watched them

Me neither. This guy does have a hell of a stick up his ass though.

tjamick

06-10-2005, 12:37 PM

I hadn't watched them either simply because he's such a douche tard about them being so great. I make movies too, but I don't show them off to you guys because I know they suck, and from the sounds of things, we put a lot more effort into our projects then this asshole does.

jarrette

06-10-2005, 12:38 PM

Originally posted by tjamick
I hadn't watched them either simply because he's such a douche tard about them being so great. I make movies too, but I don't show them off to you guys because I know they suck, and from the sounds of things, we put a lot more effort into our projects then this asshole does.

fags are gross.

tjamick

06-10-2005, 12:43 PM

Originally posted by jarrette
fags are gross.

So are pretentious amature "film makers" who honestly think that the best way to make people find their projects funny is to tell them it's funny and consantly (and patheticaly) renforce it.

We've had several people link us to their movies that we've found enjoyable, as well as plenty of people that come here with shitty movies that respect our opinions and accept our critisism. I know you're gonna bitch at me and say that I've never made anything, but I have. And there alot funnier then your stuff (please note that this is judged by the titles and images of your videos and other peoples reviews) and I hate everything I write.

ComedySnobedy

06-10-2005, 12:46 PM

I really didn't want to reply to this thread, but come on. Jarrette comes back for revenge because we don't think his movies are very good. He whined early on because he really expected approval from us, and now he gets defensive and tries to ridicule everything on this site. Jarrette, just continue to show your movies to your relatives and friends and you will get positive feedback. That way you don't have to actually be funny or talented, because you'll be treated as if you were both.

You're welcome for the advice.

also genius is spelled accordingly.

tjamick

06-10-2005, 12:47 PM

Thank you ComSnob. The only way for people to get better (and scientists have proven this) is through negitive critisism.

jarrette

06-10-2005, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by ComedySnobedy
I really didn't want to reply to this thread, but come on. Jarrette comes back for revenge because we don't think his movies are very good. He whined early on because he really expected approval from us, and now he gets defensive and tries to ridicule everything on this site. Jarrette, just continue to show your movies to your relatives and friends and you will get positive feedback. That way you don't have to actually be funny or talented, because you'll be treated as if you were both.

You're welcome for the advice.

also genius is spelled accordingly.

MAN, you are a BADASS. You just tell it like it IS, huh?

It's not about revenge, but if you scroll back, I was being cool and then people just started opening up on me. Now it's just personal, most people haven't even watched the movies.

Pretty sure you ladies just think it makes you look cool to be a dick to people that visit your forum.

oh and comedysnobedy? Just keeping living through other people's art and correcting spelling and never creating anything yourself. The world needs more followers like you.

ComedySnobedy

06-10-2005, 01:36 PM

I'm one of the few on this site who sat through your movies. I'm sorry, but I didn't really find any of them funny. I'm sure there are tons of people who would think they were funny, but none of those people would fit the evil cross section of humanity who post on this website. It doesn't take an awful lot of investigation to figure out that we are tough people to win over. If you were Dane Cook some other wildly successful, marginally talented comedian, you would be treated the same way. I'm sorry you aren't loved by the dozen or so contributors that make up BUTM. It shouldn't bother you enough that you continue to post here.

Brain Stew

06-10-2005, 01:47 PM

I watched "Putting Out Fires" and I have to say that parts were amusing, but it missed the mark. The joke was pounded into my skull and most of what happened was expected.

It wasn't bad, but it also wasn't not not bad. I'll put it this way: it was good enough to air on MADtv.

AndersLevant

06-10-2005, 01:56 PM

Originally posted by jarrette
My movies are funny, everyone that I have ever seen watch them laughs at least some. I've screened some in austing film shows and I get a good reaction.

Oh, man, you're that Jarrette? Listen, guys, you should cut him some slack. He's very popular among the Austin film crowd. I've never met him, but people I know have said he's a nice guy, if maybe a little defensive. All the cool people in Austin are pretty familiar with Bowl of Cereal Productions.

apotatojudge

06-10-2005, 03:24 PM

1. He called me potato skin!! YUK YUK YUK YUK!!

2. Jarrette, where do you want to meet? I'm a very busy person, but I will meet you somewhere, if only to prove to you that I can kick your fucking ass and show you that I'm not fat.

3. How the fuck do you know we haven't done anything productive or creative? Why are we JUST a bunch of low-lifes on the internet idolizing a show that got cancelled years ago? Just because we don't spam boards saying, "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!" begging for approval? I know that at least I, for one, have contributed to something that hundreds of thousands of people have enjoyed. If your work was THAT GOOD then you would think that your audience would find you, and not vice versa.

4. Sit on my face, faggot.

5. No, seriously. Let's meet. PM me.

jarrette

06-10-2005, 03:26 PM

Originally posted by apotatojudge
I know that at least I, for one, have contributed to something that hundreds of thousands of people have enjoyed. If your work was THAT GOOD then you would think that your audience would find you, and not vice versa.

which is....

Fucking liar, pm on the way.

p.s. saw this on your profile

Location san antonio, texas.
Interests giving blow jobs.

Is this site full of aids givers or what?

ME!!!!

06-10-2005, 03:36 PM

Someone should've closed this fucking thread a long time ago.

P.S. Contributing shitty stuff is worse than contributing nothing. If I have a big tub of nothing, I'm ok. If I have a big tub of shit now I have to find somewhere to put it where it won't stink to hell.

jarrette

06-10-2005, 03:40 PM

Originally posted by ME!!!!
Someone should've closed this fucking thread a long time ago.

P.S. Contributing shitty stuff is worse than contributing nothing. If I have a big tub of nothing, I'm ok. If I have a big tub of shit now I have to find somewhere to put it where it won't stink to hell.

You haven't even watched the movies, lol.

Plus there are no gays or Canadians allowed on my site anyway.

Furgie

06-13-2005, 03:58 AM

God, all I read is a bunch of Poopie-pantie-critical prattle about people's posted work. I think you deserve KUDOS for getting off your butts and doing something with your art. FUCK THE CRITICS!

Citrus Mountain

06-13-2005, 02:05 PM

Jarrette:
first of all let me say I'm impressed by the effort you and crew have put into these films. I thought some of the premises were funny and even the execution was decent at times. If I were voting I probably wouldn't be fast and loose throwing awards your way, but the initiative is commendable. The acting and direction seems decent and with better scripts you might even win this group over. Don't hold your breath though (unless you don't floss).

That said, you can't expect a group of cynical strangers to sugar coat their opinions when you solicit them. Some gave their honest opinion. Some took the opportunity to make jokes whether they'd seen it or not. If you'd read a few threads on the site before posting you'd know that that is par for the course.
While some were smart assed pricks, they did it in good humor, with no malice intended. The same can not be said for your responces. But hey, maybe if you draw this out a while, you'll learn to let it roll off your back a little more easily.

The gay bashing and other vicious replies are not only not funny and completely un-called for,but make you look like the asshole here. You're the only one that is getting mad here, can you not see that? I heard a rumor that gay people have the ability to watch and enjoy movies too. Might want to keep that in mind before alienating part of your audience.

Learn to take a joke, and learn to take critisism. Whether you deserve it or not, you're gonna get slammed by somebody at some point.

P.S. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff...