scotch-romanian
03-06-2005, 10:30 PM
Arrested Development has just stolen my idea: television
In 1998, on the day of the summer solstice, I was cleaning my downstairs bathroom. I had just poured the bottle of drain-o down the sink, when suddenly I tripped and hit my head on the edge of my bathtub, instantly having an epiphany. This was how I thought of television.
After bandaging my head up, I wrote down my idea on a strip of papyrus, placed it carefully inside a liter of Mellow Yellow, then put the liter into a brown-paper bag, and lastly heroically threw the bag into Galveston bay.
Now, seven years later, I am horrified to discover that my idea -- television -- has been stolen by one of my favorite shows currently on television.
The problem, though, isn’t just that they stole my idea. The problem is that they aren’t using it for the good of mankind, as I had originally intended to do.
I had originally wanted to place a bunch of sensors inside of it so that it could be engulfed by a tornado; the sensors would be scattered around inside of the funnel of the tornado, gathering information upon information to be used by meteorologists in order to successfully predict the path of dangerous tornadoes. I had called it "Dorothy" (the thieves later changed the name to "television").
It looked something like this, except it was a television set instead of a trashcan:
http://www.famous-company.com/images/Dorothy_at_twister_smaller_4_web.jpg
These Fox executives are obviously just in it for the money, not the science. Otherwise they'd be putting it into tornadoes like they're supposed to rather than putting it into the homes of families all over the world, broadcasting Dorothy shows (or "television" shows). And to tell you the truth, if I could steal it back I wouldn't even patent it -- I would put it in a museum. That's the kind of guy I am.
While we’re on the subject of idea theft, I should also mention that a number of other invention ideas were stolen from me as well, including: the first variation of the “knock, knock joke", the first compact cigarette, the first hand gel, the original steak & barbecue sauce, GAP sweatshirts, and most importantly, the idea of returning from outer space (as opposed to just going into outer space and not coming back). I also co-wrote the screenplay to the hit film Twister, but was not granted the proper writing credit from the WGA.
So am I just paranoid? Keep in mind, though, everything I’ve said here is true.
In 1998, on the day of the summer solstice, I was cleaning my downstairs bathroom. I had just poured the bottle of drain-o down the sink, when suddenly I tripped and hit my head on the edge of my bathtub, instantly having an epiphany. This was how I thought of television.
After bandaging my head up, I wrote down my idea on a strip of papyrus, placed it carefully inside a liter of Mellow Yellow, then put the liter into a brown-paper bag, and lastly heroically threw the bag into Galveston bay.
Now, seven years later, I am horrified to discover that my idea -- television -- has been stolen by one of my favorite shows currently on television.
The problem, though, isn’t just that they stole my idea. The problem is that they aren’t using it for the good of mankind, as I had originally intended to do.
I had originally wanted to place a bunch of sensors inside of it so that it could be engulfed by a tornado; the sensors would be scattered around inside of the funnel of the tornado, gathering information upon information to be used by meteorologists in order to successfully predict the path of dangerous tornadoes. I had called it "Dorothy" (the thieves later changed the name to "television").
It looked something like this, except it was a television set instead of a trashcan:
http://www.famous-company.com/images/Dorothy_at_twister_smaller_4_web.jpg
These Fox executives are obviously just in it for the money, not the science. Otherwise they'd be putting it into tornadoes like they're supposed to rather than putting it into the homes of families all over the world, broadcasting Dorothy shows (or "television" shows). And to tell you the truth, if I could steal it back I wouldn't even patent it -- I would put it in a museum. That's the kind of guy I am.
While we’re on the subject of idea theft, I should also mention that a number of other invention ideas were stolen from me as well, including: the first variation of the “knock, knock joke", the first compact cigarette, the first hand gel, the original steak & barbecue sauce, GAP sweatshirts, and most importantly, the idea of returning from outer space (as opposed to just going into outer space and not coming back). I also co-wrote the screenplay to the hit film Twister, but was not granted the proper writing credit from the WGA.
So am I just paranoid? Keep in mind, though, everything I’ve said here is true.