Great Funny combacks.

[Weis]

If someone evr accuses you of hogging all of the "something", come right back with a "Oh yeah? Well you're hogging all of the UGLY!"

[tjamick]

hehehehe yeah, one time this kid was like "hey, you're fat!" and i was like "no, you are!" it was so awsome.

he shot himself later that night.

[agent_PUNT]

if someone says "nice face" or something... you say "nice life!"

burn!

and then the suicide thing tj mentioned.

[RizzleMcIzzle]

I think the biggest comebacks among high school kids these days (at least in my neck of the woods [I live in the woods]) would have to be the following:

If someone says anything, the response is always, "Well your face is a [insert something related to the initial insult here]."

If someone insults you, just tell them they have a "little bird".

Kids are silly.

[CptPlanet]

just yell "DEEZ NUTZ!" and kick them in the sternum and run away. it can't fail.

[Stabby]

Or when someone says "hey shut up!" you say "make me!"

or if a jerk says "you jerry bruckheimer!" say "you are more likely! A jerk that is!"

[scotch-romanian]

guys, can we get off comebacks? cuz i just got off yours!

wait... nvm

[ME!!!!]

One time this kid said I looked like a duck. So I called him a bastard........................................... ......











His dad had died of cancer two years earlier... True story.

[Treebeard]

is your name a reference to f.f. woodycook?

[3v3+Z]

I remember one time at my old job, there were people just writing the word "me" on some shit they were supposed to put there name on. I forget what the fuck it was, but it was very important for names to be on there so we'd all know who to go to about whatever the fuck it was. And I'd get pissed, 'cuz I couldn't tell who was who when they'd just write "me" on there! So I was like, "That doesn't work! You see, everybody's 'me'!" Then I'd start singing that Dead Milkmen song, "Now Everybody's Me":

Everybody hates Edie Brickell
All my favorite shows are on TV
All the restaurants serve my favorite food
'Cause now everybody's me
Now my apartment's really crowded
'Cause I live there and I'm everybody
Everybody's sleeping with my girl
But, hey, everybody's me
CHORUS
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Everybody's watching "Married with Children"
Everybody's into beastiality
The stores stopped selling Amstel Light
'Cause now everybody's me
Everybody loves Charles Manson
Everybody wants to set him free
Everybody's on the parole board
'Cause now everybody's me
CHORUS
I had to put an end to war
It didn't make a lot of sense to shoot at myself
No moe Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway
Salesmen
Just a whole planet of TV addicts
They had to lower all the basketball nets
'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3
And everybody likes to dress like a monkey
'Cause now everybody's me

[the preceding text color has been tomato]

[MiMi!!!!]

http://images.absolutenow.com/rp/5841-Rogers88323806.jpg
I'm "me", and so am I. I'm "me" TWICE! It's like I'm schizophrenic, but with two identical personalities. Strange, huh?

[CptPlanet]

steve those lyrics were the funniest thing i've ever read. got any more?

[ME!!!!]

Originally posted by Treebeard
is your name a reference to f.f. woodycook?



Yes

[3v3+Z]

I should explain that this first part is kind of a play on something that happens on Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti. I forget which song. "Black Country Woman"! I just looked it up!

(Studio Chatter: "Shall we roll it, Jimmy?"
("We're rolling on, what, one?")
("No, one again?")
(- Airplane heard flying overhead - "Got to get this airplane off.")
("Naw, leave it, yeah.")

The name of TDM's album was Metaphysical Graffiti. (I wonder if the band's initials were intentional. TDM? You know, like Tee-Dee-Ummmm? Never thought about that. Maybe that's why Dave Matthews left that definite article officially off his band's name...) Anyway, without further ado...

Dean: Hey there's a big airplane goin' by.
Rodney: Get it! Go! Go!
Some Recording Guy: It's on the track
Rodney: Leave it! Get it on the track!
Joe: Get it! Get it! Catch it!
Dean: I got it :)

You've got a methodist coloring book
And you color really well
But don't color outside the lines
Or God will send you to Hell
'Cause God hates war
And God hates crime
A' but he really hates people
Who color outside the lines

You've got a methodist coloring book
Don't color outside the lines
'Cause if God doesn't strike you with lightning
He'll at least make you go blind
Good people get sent to the attic
Bad people will roast in the cellar
But there's a special kind a' Hell
For those who just won't learn to color

God is gracious, God is good
So let's color in his book
God wears cotton, God wears rayon
He can mend a broken crayon
God is honest, He don't take payola
Let's all thank him for our Crayolas!

You got a methodist coloring book! (x3)
(ah..oh..oh) (x2)
You got a methodist coloring book! (x3)
(oh..oh..oh.. [a very emotional performance])

You've got a methodist coloring book
And you color really well
But don't color out side the lines
Or God will send you to Hell

[agent_PUNT]

written on the bus this morning:

"2 lessons to have sex:

1) IN
2) OUT
Simpul as that!"


- In conclusion; kids are dumb.

I would say that was 1 lesson, not 2....and you can eliminate the second step too.

[Led]

Originally posted by 3v3+Z
I should explain that this first part is kind of a play on something that happens on Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti. I forget which song. "Black Country Woman"! I just looked it up!

(Studio Chatter: "Shall we roll it, Jimmy?"
("We're rolling on, what, one?")
("No, one again?")
(- Airplane heard flying overhead - "Got to get this airplane off.")
("Naw, leave it, yeah.")



and that is where my name came from

[Brain Stew]

BULLY: CHICK-EN! BAWK! BAWK BAWK BAWK!
BOY: I'm not a chicken, YOU'RE A TURKEY!

I stole that one from an anti-drug PSA.

[Led]

my personal favorite is...

Bully: hey gimme your milk money
You: Hey your shoes untied
Bully: my shoes dont have laces, their velcrow
You: Haha your retarded
bully: *cries*

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by Led
my personal favorite is...

Bully: hey gimme your milk money
You: Hey your shoes untied
Bully: my shoes dont have laces, their velcrow
You: Haha your retarded
bully: *cries*

"personal" as in "i'm a retard"???

fart.

[cabron]

i love the "nice face" response. i first heard it back in 2001 when i was on shrooms and my friend liked this bouncer, she commented to him how she liked his hair saying "nice hair and he responded defly "nice face". exactly 24 hours later she looked at me and said i don;t think that was a compliment. i later encountered it one day at training when a girl on my team said to me "nice shirt" and i shot back "nice face" and my coaches gasped and witheld their laughs, needless to say i made the team.

[not registered]

if ur having a ur so stupid fight just say ur so stupid that u tried to make a donut praugnet(not sure how to spell praugnet)and if she's a girl say ur so stupid u tried to get ur self praugnet with a twinky. burn (\ /)
\\__//
(0-o)
_(v_v)_
(___l___)

[11 year old kid]

if ur having a ur so stupid fight just say ur so stupid that u tried to make a donut praugnet(not sure how to spell praugnet)and if she's a girl say ur so stupid u tried to get ur self praugnet with a twinky. burn. and after that say ur so stupid u tried to save a fish from drowning then say ur so stupid u tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff(or any high place)

[Merv Skilton]

Originally posted by ME!!!!
One time this kid said I looked like a duck. So I called him a bastard........................................... ......





:rolleyes:

you look like a bastard ;)

[McAllister]

One time I got asked how to do something and I replied with "I don't know why don't you ask Brainy McEinstein over there" to which I just pointed at nobody for ages until the moment past.

[fritter]

did paul hogan mention this site in his state of the union address or something? there are like a million of you ruggedly good looking fuckers here all of a sudden.

[Rabot]

Originally posted by fritter
did paul hogan mention this site in his state of the union address or something? there are like a million of you ruggedly good looking fuckers here all of a sudden.

I dunno feggit.

[Merv Skilton]

Originally posted by fritter
did paul hogan mention this site in his state of the union address or something? there are like a million of you ruggedly good looking fuckers here all of a sudden.

its a stock avatar but thanks anyway.....

[Stabby]

Bull;y: "your mom is fat"
You:" "well it takes one 2 know one "

[CptPlanet]

Bully: "Get out of my dreams!"
You: "And in to my car!"

[Kelsy]

Bully: "Jesus Christ put some pants on, you slut!"
You: "FAG!"

[agent_PUNT]

Bully: Are you stupid or just drunk?!

You: Jesus Christ put some pants on, you slut!

[RizzleMcIzzle]

Orphan: I can take you, ya piece of shit!

You: Oh yeah?! Well my dad can beat up your dad!

Orphan: :(