David Cross 2005 - Joke T-shirt Ideas

[agent_PUNT]

So if my plan to become a "Follower of the Cross" takes place this summer (assuming he tours)...I thought it would be funny to go to each show wearing a t-shirt with some dumbass slogan on it...

Iron-on's are only like 10 bucks right?

So anyone got any GOOD ideas for slogans....

Here is one example that ME came up with:

A shirt that says:

"Born To Get High" (i'd be wearing a cowboy hat for this one)

OR

"Girl scouts pitch tents" (on the back it would say "in my pants")


I amuse myself in semi-creative ways....

join me.

[5InchTaint]

How about "David Cross is an Ugly Bald Jewboy!"
I'm sure that would catch his eye.

[3v3+Z]

"Hey, cunt! Let's get married!"

"I heart niggers!"

front
"Accept Jesus"
back
"...was a fucking retard!"



That's all for now.

[RizzleMcIzzle]

"Look! My T-Shirt has writing on it!"

"If you can read this, you are looking at my boobs."

[RizzleMcIzzle]

"I made a T-Shirt and all I got was a lousy T-Shirt"

Mine are too long.

[agent_PUNT]

how about:

"You Can't Spell sktzloveqh..." (front)

"...without LOVE" (back)


OR


"More like Suck Ronnie Suck"


OR

"Who Really Shot JFK?"

OR

"Stand Up For Your Pipe"

[RizzleMcIzzle]

They're all very good.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to post my 300th post in Klaus's 250th post post.

post.

[terris]

"ASIA"

either that or

"T-shirts, not just clothing, but a way of life"

[tjamick]

"(top) I {heart} satan


(bottom)Just kidding!"

"beer. it's whats for dinner."

"ask me about my grand kids "
with this picture under it. (http://www.donparker.us/my-five/tn_steph2003.jpg)

"Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve"

"(front) hey, get this monkey off my back!!!
(back) [a picture of a monkey shrugging his shoulders]"

on a related note, the other day i was thinking about getting an evenesence t-shirt and getting him to sign it.

[Brain Stew]

"Jesus Saves Fags"

"Black People Are Uppity"

"I'M GOING TO RAPE ->"

"I'm not gay, but my girlfriend is."

I think these are ideas are offensive more than funny. Funny is hard :(.

[CptPlanet]

"TUBGIRL"

"I AM RICK JAMES BITCH"

"DAMAGEPLAN FOREV oh wait"

[Stabby]

"Hay David Cross it's a pleasure to meet you I'm a big fan and I love your work. I hope this isn't too weird, I hate to come accross as one of those star-struck fans that you're just gonna be like 'yeah thanks dude' and then when I leave you'll be like 'wtf what a loser' cause i'm not like serioulsy i just wanted to, you know, get a chance to meet you and all but haha damn this is sounding gay huh? oh man well whatever right? thanks though dude it was great to meet you."

get a tshirt that says that!

[tjamick]

get a t-shirt with a giant picture of your face on it.

or just buy any shirt from hightimes.com

[teengirlsquad]

how about this shirthttp://store1.yimg.com/I/yhst-37025177803217_1821_8001111

[tjamick]

maybe you should get that guys head on a shirt

[3v3+Z]

Lovitz? You're gonna like itz!

[apotatojudge]

Originally posted by 3v3+Z
Lovitz? You're gonna like itz!


I'm right on top of that.

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by Brain Stew
""I'M GOING TO RAPE ->"


I think these are ideas are offensive more than funny. Funny is hard :(.

That is a keeper.

fucking awesome.

"ask about my grandkids" is good too.

how about :

"Breasts of America; Unite!"

[NaturesOnions]

How about a shirt that has that picture that TGS put up, on it. Not just the Jon Lovitz on Rushmore thing, but that whole picture. Asian dude and all. That would freak out some squares, huh?

[NaturesOnions]

Holy shit, I just realized how old this post is.

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by NaturesOnions
Holy shit, I just realized how old this post is.

no worries, it isn't summer yet so keep the ideas coming (gleep glop)

[Pallies]

BUCKLE THE FUCK UP

Cross is bigger than Jeebus

Stop Midget on midget crime

this is funny too: http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=397

[Treebeard]

none of those are funny and neither are you

leave forever

[CptPlanet]

Freebird has a point.

[Pallies]

I'm already inside your head.

[NaturesOnions]

I dont even believe in Jeebus!!!!

[Charlie Church]

I just want my kids back

[RizzleMcIzzle]

That one's perfect! Go with that!

[NaturesOnions]

I love where the girls wear the shirts that say "OBJECT" in episode 403, Show me your weenis. I think that would be funny for a chick to wear.

[Pallies]

West Coast Ventriloquist

[CptPlanet]

MAKE SURE YOU MAKE PLENTY OF MISTER SHOW REFERENCES I'M SURE THAT THERE ARE SOME HE HASN'T HEARD YET I MEAN AFTER ALL ITS ONLY BEEN OFF THE AIR FOR SIX YEARS AND BESIDES HE PROBABLY DOESN'T KNOW HOW FUNNY HIS OWN SHOW WAS I'M SURE HE LOVE FOR YOU TO REMIND HIM

[3v3+Z]

? (http://www.cafepress.com/butm/143204)

I'm thinking more "don't be that guy" syndrome.

[Brain Stew]

Didn't you hear? It's not cool to tell people not to constantly quote Mr. Show on this board :rolleyes:.

[Mang0]

Was going to start up a t-shirt range to compete with fcuk called cnut but it's already been done :mad:

[creator of AM]

david's mug shot and on the arrest board "david cross is a dog fucker"

or

photoshop a horn on his head and quote "where are the unicorns"

or

funnier than jesus

[opus]

"David Cross"

[notime4sanity]

"Surf Sri Lanka!"


err... I might wait a while on that one.

[opus]

Originally posted by notime4sanity
"Surf Sri Lanka!"


err... I might wait a while on that one.

That's terrible.

[tjamick]

Originally posted by opus
"David Cross"

that would be hilarious.

[3v3+Z]

...and kinda dumb, but...

[NaturesOnions]

Ok, not to sound like a dick or anything but, why is everyone so hung up on David all the time? Personally, when I first started watching Mr. Show I liked David more. But now I think I like what Bob does more. I just wonder, why DC gets so much more attention then Mr. Odenkirk?

[tjamick]

i too have thought about this, and the answer is simple; DC does alot of tv, a few movies, has two cd's and tours the country doing stand up, where bob has been mainly working behind the scene's recently and doesnt really do any stand up aside from his m-bar shows for the most part.
when bob's on tv or what not, we talk about him, but most of the time, DC is more accesible.

[NaturesOnions]

I kind of figured thats what it was. Just wondering.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by NaturesOnions
I kind of figured thats what it was. Just wondering.

QUIT BITCHING

GOD

[agent_PUNT]

I was hoping for shirts that didn't have his name.... so i don't look over the top creepy.

but that David Crossing shirt is fucking nice.

So is the dog fucker one...

I'd probably go with "David Cross: The original Dog Fucker"

And on the back just have it say "chocolate lab"

PS... I like them both equally, but for different reasons. They're called compliments.

Bob's genius is a little harder to grasp as a fan (in my shitty opinion)

[Mang0]

Front : I ran Diana off the road in Paris

Back : and all I got was this lousy T-shirt


and a hard on.

[opus]

Originally posted by tjamick
that would be hilarious.

I'm not looking for hilarity. I'm looking for the best way to s how fandom. If you like the yankees you get a shirt that says "Yankees" you dont get a shirt that has some logo on it.

[Treebeard]

I've never seen or heard Bob do standup. Is there anything out there on the internet?

[RizzleMcIzzle]

You should just have a shirt that says 'answer your telephone' written all over it in marker.

Mang0: Nice job on that last one. Awful, but awfully funny.

Treebeard: I'm not sure whether you've seen them already, but there are a couple short clips of Bob's standup on bobanddavid.com.

[3v3+Z]

Originally posted by Treebeard
I've never seen or heard Bob do standup. Is there anything out there on the internet?
He was on a "Dr. Kats". There's a transcript of that out there somewhere. I heard him do some Un-Cab stuff on the radio. I remember seeing him (I think it was him) on some MTV standup thing YEARS ago reading "Bazooka Joe" comics. He would read one, not get a laugh, open another piece of gum, start chewing it, read the comic, repeat process 'til the gum is fucking huge. Someone else tell me they remember this.

[Brain Stew]

OMG! They're pissing!!!

[3v3+Z]

Hang on, le'me write that down... Shit! You edited it out before I got a chance to write it down, you FUCK! How am I gonna remember that now. Bob the... wait... WRITER... right? And David is... um... tunafish? GODDAMNIT!!! What WAS that?

Hey Stewy, where the hell does your sig line come from. It's driving me nuts-er trying to figure that out.

[RizzleMcIzzle]

Season 4 commentary. I believe the episode is 'The Story of Everest' and Jay says it.

[Mang0]

After the depressing failure to copywrite cnut as a clothes range I am contemplating an '.....and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.......... and a hard on' range of shirt's.
After a beer/skunk brainstorming session last night with a few unappreciated genius morons a few more suggestions were added to my list of possible's and even more to the 'get linched immediatly on the street' list.
Any suggestions for precursers would be gratefully recieved.

The worst? suggestion from last night was -

White T-shirt with fake mud stains and blood,

Front - I helped dig mass graves for the unfortunate victims of the Tsunami.
And all I got was this lousy T-shirt

Back - And a hard on.

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by Mang0
White T-shirt with fake mud stains and blood,

Front - I helped dig mass graves for the unfortunate victims of the Tsunami.
And all I got was this lousy T-shirt

Back - And a hard on.

I already have this in underwear... except without all the messy writing.

fart.

[creator of AM]

this

[creator of AM]

i'm too dumb to know how to put the picture IN the message. i'm open to suggestions


thanks

[CptPlanet]

i suggest you shape up or ship out buster!

PS if you save it as a jpg it'll be embedded in your post instead of being a link.

[Brain Stew]

Originally posted by 3v3+Z
Hey Stewy, where the hell does your sig line come from. It's driving me nuts-er trying to figure that out.
Jay says it in one of the Season 4 commentaries.

[creator of AM]

Originally posted by CptPlanet
i suggest you shape up or ship out buster!

PS if you save it as a jpg it'll be embedded in your post instead of being a link.


ahh, thanks ;)