Coool water, coooool waaaater

[rootsmoker]

Wow. Bob wasn't shitting us about the craptasticness of Brian Wilson's songwriting during his not-so-prolific "bed sore" years. Exhibit A:

COOL, COOL WATER
Coolin' so coolin' coolin' me
Coolin' so coolin' coolin' me
Have some cool clear water
(Drink a little drip drip drip drip drink a little)
(Water coolin' me)

Have some cool clear water
(Drink a little drip drip drip drip drink a little)
(Water coolin' me)

Have some cool clear water
Have some cool clear water
Have some cool clear water
(Drink a little drip drip drip drip drink a little)
Have some water

Coolin' so coolin' coolin' me
Coolin' so coolin' coolin' me
Have some cool clear water
(Drink a little drip drip drip drip drink a little)
(Water coolin' me)

Have some cool clear water
Have some cool clear water
(Drink a little drip drip drip drip drink a little)
Have some cool clear water
Have some cool clear water
(Drink a little drip drip drip drip drink a little)
Have some water

Water water water water water water
Now now-now-now-now
Now now-now-now-now
Now now-now-now-now
Now now-now-now-now
Now now-now-now-now
Now now-now-now-now
Now now-now-now-now
Ah ah ah ah
Wa ah ah wa ah oo oo oo oo ah ah

Coolin' so cool coolin' me
Coolin' so cool coolin' me
(Drip drip drip drip drink a little drip drip drip drip)
Coolin' so cool coolin' me
(Drip drip drip drip drink a little drip drip drip drip)
Coolin' so cool coolin' me
(Drip drip drip drip drink a little drip drip drip drip)
Coolin' so cool coolin' me
(Drip drip drip drip drink a little drip drip drip drip)

When the heat's got you down
Here's what you oughta
Get yourself in that cool cool water
(Coolin' so cool coolin' me)
Cool cool water
Get yourself in that cool cool water
(Coolin' so cool coolin' me)
Cool cool water

When the heat's got you down
Here's what you oughta
Get yourself in that cool cool water
(Coolin' so cool coolin' me)
Cool cool water
Get yourself in that cool cool water
(Coolin so cool coolin' me)
Cool cool water

Ooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaooooooaaaaaaa

Cool cool cool cool water water

In an ocean or in a glass
Cool water is such a gas

Coolin' so coolin' coolin' me

Ooooooooooooaaaaaaaaooooaaaaaaa

From the mountains on down to the sea
Cool water keeps on coolin' me
When the nights are too hot to keep cool
I keep on dreamin' 'bout a swimmin' pool

When I'm just too hot to move
Cool cool water is such a groove
In a shady spot when I'm layin' down
Only thing movin' are the ants on the ground

When I'm thirsty and I reach for a glass
Cool water tastes like such a gas
From the mountains on down to the sea
Cool cool water keeps on coolin' me
Cool cool water keeps on coolin' me
Get yourself in that cool cool water now
Cool cool water keeps on coolin' me
Cool cool water keeps on coolin' me

[CptPlanet]

what is this nonsense?

[rootsmoker]

Exhibit B:

BEACH BOYS lyrics - "Vegetables"
(Brian Wilson/Van Dyke Parks)
I'm gonna be round my vegetables
I'm gonna chow down my vegetables
I love you most of all
My favorite vege-table

If you brought a big brown bag of them home
I'd jump up and down and hope you'd toss me a carrot

I'm gonna keep well my vegetables
Cart off and sell my vegetables
I love you most of all
My favorite vege-table
Oh oh taba vega vegel

I tried to kick the ball but my tenny flew right off
I'm red as a beet 'cause I'm so embarassed

Oh oh dum do dum de dooby do
Oh oh dum do dum de dooby do
Oh oh dum do dum de dooby do
oh yeah
Oh badumday oh dum do dum de dooby do
Oh badumday oh dum do dum de dooby do

Chomp chomp chomp chomp do-do-do do-do-do
Bop bop bop bop do-do-do do-do-do

I know that you'll feel better
When you send us in
Your letter an'
Tell us the name of your
Your favorite vege-table

I know that you'll feel better
When you send us in
Your letter an'
Tell us the name of your
Your favorite vege-table




It took two people to write this steaming turd. Hilarious!

[Gogo]

How bout the directions to his house song... is that for real too?

[terris]

the biggest joke brian wilson ever played was creating a movie about himself, making fake pictures of him self circa 70s-80s, then make everyone alive back then think they saw or remembered hearing about a comedian named brian wilson

and now we all think he actually existed

[teengirlsquad]

(i always put my password in the subject line does anyone else do that?)

thanks those lyrics are hilarious. i love that mouth sores sketch and the commentary is pretty good too.

i have a friend with mouth sores and i keep meaning to put this song on her voicemail even though i know she will be very mad

[rootsmoker]

Originally posted by Gogo
How bout the directions to his house song... is that for real too?

As requested: Busy Doin' Nothin'

I had to fix a lot of things this morning
'Cause they were so scrambled
But now it's okay
I tell you I've got enough to do

The afternoon was filled up with phone calls
What a hot sticky day, yeah yeah yeah
The air is cooling down

Take all the time you need
It's a lovely night
If you decide to come
You're gonna do it right

Drive for a couple miles
You'll see a sign and turn left
For a couple blocks
Next is mine, you'll turn left on a little road
It's a bumpy one

You'll see a white fence
Move the gate and drive through on the left side
Come right in
And you'll find me in my house somewhere
Keeping busy while I wait

I get a lot of thoughts in the morning
I write 'em all down
If it wasn't for that
I'd forget 'em in a while

And lately I've been thinking Ôbout a good friend
I'd like to see more of, yeah yeah yeah
I think I'll make a call

I wrote a number down
But I lost it
So I searched through my pocket book
I couldn't find it
So I sat and concentrated on the number
And slowly it came to me
So I dialed it

And I let it ring a few times
There was no answer
So I let it ring a little more
Still no answer

So I hung up the telephone
Got some paper and sharpened up a pencil
And wrote a letter to my friend

If you find some error in Busy Doin' Nothin' Lyrics,
would you please submit your

[agent_PUNT]

wow. that's awesome

[tjamick]

i like their song "t-bird" just because they ryhme "now" with "now" over and over again.

[Gogo]

God, that "Busy Doin' Nothing" song is probably one of the stupidest songs I've ever read.

I won't bother to hear it. My ears would probably bleed.

[rootsmoker]

Typing it out made me bleed from my eyes and anus.

And a little from my nipples...

[AndersLevant]

I'm currently listening to Vega-Tables. I have it on my computer and iPod. The best part is that there is the sound of someone chewing on crunchy vegetables in the background. It's on Brian Wilson's album Smile. I don't really know why the album is on my computer. For some reason my brother put it on there. He's kind of odd.

[rootsmoker]

Originally posted by AndersLevant
The best part is that there is the sound of someone chewing on crunchy vegetables in the background.

HaHaHa! Fucking brilliant.

How did your brother know about the song? Did he put it on your iPod, too? I think YOU did that.

Yes, Vege-tables is from an album called Smiles. The title of Wilson's next album? Smiley Smiles.

[James Lipton voice] Genius!

[3v3+Z]

Beach Boys - Never Learn Not To Love Lyrics
Dennis Wilson/(Charles Manson uncredited lyricist/composer)

Cease to resist, come on say you love me
Give up your world, come on and be with me
I'm your kind, I'm your kind, and I see

Come on come on, ooo I love you pretty
My life is yours, and you can have my world
I'm your kind, I'm your kind, and I see

Never had a lesson I ever learned
I know I could never learn not to love you
Come in now closer
Come in closer closer closer ahhhh

Submission is a game given to another
Love and understanding is for one another
I'm your kind, I'm your kind, and I see

Never had a lesson I ever learned
I know I could never learn not to love you
Come in now closer
Come in closer come in closer ahhhh

Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhhhhh
Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhhhhh

[ritzik]

anyone have the lyrics to the Johnny Carson song?

[rootsmoker]

Booyah!

JOHNNY CARSON
He sits behind his microphone
John-ny car-son
He speaks in such a manly tone
John-ny car-son

Ed mcmahon comes on and says "here's johnny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
It's (nice) to (have) you (on) the (show) tonight
I've seen (your) act (in) vegas out of sight

When guests are boring he fills up the slack
John-ny car-son
The network makes him break his back
John-ny car-son

Ed mcmahon comes on and says "here's johnny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
Don't (you) think (he's) such (a) natural guy
The (way) he's (kept) it (up) could make you cry

Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny carson is a real live wire.
Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny carson is a real live wire.
Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny carson is a real live wire.
Who's the man that we admire?
Johnny carson is a real live wire

[agent_PUNT]

so basically Brian Wilson was a white version of Wesley Willis??

[CptPlanet]

ROCK AND ROLL MCDONALDS ROCK AND ROLL MCDONALDS

[agent_PUNT]

yes, that is one of the lines from a Wesley Willis song.

[5InchTaint]

You do realize that he had a serious drug problem and a nervous breakdown right?

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by 5InchTaint
You do realize that he had a serious drug problem and a nervous breakdown right?

you mean Brian Wilson or Wesley Willis?

Because the answer to both is yes. and yes

[Sandy]

www.google.com

[rootsmoker]

Originally posted by Sandy
Okay- making fun is one thing, but attacking people with mental disabilities is unconshonable. I know your better than that.

What's your stance on making fun of people whoose grasp on the English language is as loose as Paris Hilton's cooter?


And why the fuck does everybody else's custom avatar get to be so big? Who's responsible? WHOOOOOOO! Heads will roll...

[Sandy]

Originally posted by rootsmoker
What's your stance on making fun of people whoose grasp on the English language is as loose as Paris Hilton's cooter?


Perhaps you should remove the plank from your eye before criteaking the splinter in mine.

;)

[5InchTaint]

yor knot a vari goood sepellr.

[rootsmoker]

Originally posted by Sandy
Perhaps you should remove the plank from your eye before criteaking the splinter in mine.

;)


What the shit are you on about?



Oh...oh my God...I'm so sorry. Do you suffer from mental problems? I've been terribly insensitive. I apologize.

[5InchTaint]

You know you're better than that, rootsmoker.

[agent_PUNT]

rootsmoker is good.

Sandy is the name of my racist boss.... so that's no good.

who's making fun of the handicapped?

[RizzleMcIzzle]

This is the part where everybody raises their hand.

[rootsmoker]

Originally posted by agent_PUNT
rootsmoker is good.

Thank you, Punt. I enjoy you as well.

[Sandy]

Originally posted by agent_PUNT
rootsmoker is good.

Sandy is the name of my racist boss.... so that's no good.

who's making fun of the handicapped?

Perhaps a look in the mirror is in order, AP.

:(

[AndersLevant]

Why do people show up here and begin criticizing the regulars? Don't they realize that the regulars are better than they are because the regulars were here before them? Sandy, are you really that stupid? Do you honestly think your suggestions and rebukes will do anything but encourage Rootsmoker to be more offensive? Isn't mocking the handicapped one of the great pleasures in life?

[3v3+Z]

Originally posted by AndersLevant
Sandy, are you really that stupid?
Maybe. But I think it's more likely she's one of these assholes who thinks it's hilarious to come to a forum and intentionally piss everybody off, which one could argue is even stupider. No one joins a forum to say something like this:
Okay- making fun is one thing, but attacking people with mental disabilities is unconshonable. I know your better than that.
That's her first post.

Goodbye, Sandy. You're done. Stop posting now. No need for a farewell post. Find a MadTV forum or something. Stop reading this and leave.

[ritzik]

Just wanted to thank rootsmoker and 3v3 + z for sharing those lyrics. You are cool.

[agent_PUNT]

Steve is the smartest person on this board that posts regularly....

but I'm a racist so what do I know.

oh the irony.

[dimna]

hi everyone!

[Pali]

Oh you can all go and die. Brian Wilson was and is a musical genius, and I will not have him slandered. For the record, do your research before you start blowing shit out of your cockholes, most of the songs you quoted had lyrics written by Van Dyke Parks.

You are now officially rebuked.

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by Pali
You are now officially rebuked.

I'd say that was more unofficial since you weren't sanctioned by the Nevada Boxing Comission.

Oh and something about Full House being shitty.

[chinesedentist]

Brian Wilson was a fantastic songwriter. Vegetables is one of the best melodies ever created, as is Cool, Cool Water. The lyrics are rather inane, but it's probably much more genuine and less self indulgent than whatever post-rock you guys listen to whilst masturbating.


On a side note, anyone know where I could find "Mouthful Of Sores" online? I've gotta show it to my friend who's a huge Beach Boys fan.

[Treebeard]

i miss sandy

[modrob]

I guess nobody in this thread has ever listened to a Van Dyke Parks album. They're all excellent. Brian couldn't write lyrics for shit, but he could write a song.

[BenHertz]

These lyrics are part of comedy history.