Wanda Sykes is a goddamn virus and I want to smother her in bleach

[CptPlanet]

The only hope for Comedy Central is that they will dig so low that the liquid core of the Earth incinerates them without leaving a single trace of their fucking evil. Do they think that South Park and the Daily Show gave them a blank fucking check to spew out whatever horrible shit they feel like?

Let me get back on topic: Wanda Does It. I've known since the 90's that she was an unfunny hack whose "comedy" is limited more or less to doing jokes about being black or being a woman or when being a black woman, but after seeing her show, I can honestly say that I've never wish more sincerely for the destruction of a public figure, and that includes Paris Hilton and President Bush.

Here's the breakdown: Wanda and her sleazeball manager travel from town to town like a couple of rail riding boxcar conmen. Wanda finds something to get pissed about and then her manager alternates between kissing her ass and yelling at strangers for slight, honest mistakes. In the likely event that his sweaty, undiplomatic, impotent nerd rage fails to wow the person responsible for his trivial greivance, he threatens to sic "the lawyers" on them and returns to Wanda so that she can dig her bloodstained canines further into his scrotum.

How do people become such spectacular assholes? And how does Comedy Central think this will improve their image? And how does Wanda Sykes think this will improve her image? Does she think it will make her fans like her more? Does she think that having a tard-tantrum every five minutes will earn her new fans? WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHOW EXIST?

Every day I find something new to get mad about. Christ.

[Treebeard]

I saw the commercials and made it a point to stay away. But that's unbelieveable.

On the plus side, my accounting teacher in high school recently got fired, and she always reminded me of Wanda Sykes. Maybe the revolution is underway.

[CptPlanet]

That's seriously the first time I've ever screamed at my TV when something non-political was on. I hope she gets mind cancer. Wanda Sykes and your teacher.

[Mang0]

I like wishing mind cancer on people.
It's like an electrical jolt to my shriveled emotional center.

[CptPlanet]

That's why you're the superior Mango

[klaus_kinski]

Cptn, you took the words right out of my mouth. Anyone who has gone shopping in the area of 33rd street on a Saturday in Manhattan knows that there are about a million women EXACTLY like Wanda Sykes. She's just another loud-mouthed half-wit with the most mediocre opinions and observations. How anyone, regardless of race, creed, color, or financial status could find her funny is beyond my comprehension

[agent_PUNT]

Um, what did she do exactly?

Oh and CPT I asked for the e-news, not the e-weather!

Hahaha.... the classics never die.

[CptPlanet]

I always thought that part of comedy-- in fact a major part of comedy-- was knowing when to SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH and when not to open it in the first place. I can't understand how she ever became successfull in the first place is that's how she treats ever single human being she comes into contact with. Unless her rubberspined thug of a manager threatened to lawyer the fuck out of anyone who told her what a walking tumor she is.

I hope they finally come to their senses and agree to suck off a .45 for the season finale. I would dance in the goddamn street.

[Rabot]

Originally posted by CptPlanet
Does she think that having a tard-tantrum every five minutes will earn her new fans?

No, but you obviously do. Or new friends at least.

[Stabby]

I liked it when Bill Cosby was mean to her! :)

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by Rabot
No, but you obviously do. Or new friends at least.

I'm only mean to people that deserve it. Like you, you retarded piece of shit.

[agent_PUNT]

Can someone please tell me what Wanda did? I'm so out of the loop on this one.

[CptPlanet]

One episode, she yelled at an airline pilot for 10 minutes telling him that he was drunk and she had the worst flight ever. The guy was totally trying to apologize to her and she wouldn't listen to him. She just kept running her cunt mouth.

In another episode, they misspelled her name on a Vegas marquee so she had her manager physically intimidate the owner of a casino. That was almost funny because this guy is such a scrawny rat-puss dickweed he could get mugged on an elementary school playground. From now on, whenever anyone threatens to kick my ass on the internet, I'm going to imagine them as that guy. When he realized that being Mr. Mighty Man wasn't going to work, he threatened to "get the lawyers" and stormed off in a huff.

In yet another episode, Wanda was pissing herself because she was offered the part of a cartoon monkey and that's clearly racist, so she had her manager confront some guy in a bar and they wound up getting into an actual fight. The manager was expelled from the bar, and as he was being dragged away he demanded a written letter of apology. I think I remember him saying something like "Do you know why it is unacceptable to offer Ms. Sykes the part of a monkey?" and the guy just laughed at him.

I'm sure 90% of it is grandstanding for the camera to show everyone what a big celebrity Wanda is but there's no reason for anyone to act like that under any circumstance. At least not over transgressions that are more or less made up so they'll have a show.

Or maybe the whole thing is fiction. If that's the case they should just cancel it and blacklist all the writers.

[CptPlanet]

Wow I just realize that I've seen like three episodes of a show I hate more than genocide. Maybe the problem really is me. :eek:

[agent_PUNT]

wow, it sounds fake.

it would be tragic if it were true. she was good in pootie tang.

[CptPlanet]

The people that she fucks with don't strike me as actors. But even if they are, it's NOT FUNNY. She's not being funny. She's yelling a lot about retarded shit. She's like those comedians that pretend to get TOTALLY ENRAGED over trivial shit.

"WHY DO WE NEED DIRECTIONS ON SOUP CANS? THIS IS NOT A WORLD I WANT TO RAISE A CHILD IN! CAN WE PLEASE IMMOLATE THE HORSEFUCKERS THAT PUT DIRECTIONS ON SOUP CANS I MEAN HOW DO YOU FUCK UP SOUP AM I RIGHT FOLKS?"

[guest]

it's fake.

her manager is played by tim bagely who was on "pilot season" (and then awful stuff like "stip mall").
it's an improved "curb your enthusiasm" style show... though the "jobs" she does are real (but set up).

[CptPlanet]

Why they had time to plan this shit in advance why isn't it funny?

[5InchTaint]

Why you couldn't realize it was staged after watching only a couple of minutes of it, is beyond me. You're not very smart are you Cpt? I agree that Sykes turns my fucking stomach every time I see her though. What an awful repugnant cunt she is. That network show she used to have was even more hateful than her current pile of steaming tripe.

[CptPlanet]

I guess I'm not very smart. Somehow knowing it's fake doesn't change my opinion of her one bit. The anger may be fake, but her shrill coarse yell is completely real.

What was her other show?

[apotatojudge]

Originally posted by agent_PUNT
she was good in pootie tang.



THIS IS THE ONLY CORRECT STATEMENT MADE IN THIS THREAD.


Fuck all of you.

You're just pissed off that she's a black woman and funnier than you.

[CptPlanet]

HAVE YOU LISTENED TO HER STANDUP?

[Brain Stew]

[wanda in the plane on the commercial]

I'M DOIN' IT YAAAAAAAAAL!

The whole show is fake. Her best friend is Sue Murphy and her manager is that dude from "Strip Mall."

It's weird, sometimes I think Comedy Central understands comedy - Daily Show, South Park, Tough Crowd (Hey I liked it), Reno 911! and Chapelle's Show - and then sometimes I think they wouldn't understand comedy if it took a dump on their chest - Drawn Together, Graham Norton, Wanda Does It, Strip Mall, etc.

I just don't get it. Why go through all the trouble of essentially making an unfunny fake travel show look like a funny reality travel show?

[CptPlanet]

HAHA Strip Mall! That show sucked. Remember when they cancelled Strangers With Candy and renewed Strip Mall for another season? Way to completely miss the point, douchebags!

Not that I'm one to talk about missing the point. After all I started this thread.

[Brain Stew]

Yep,

We can't have funny cutting edge shows like Strangers With Candy or Upright Citizens' Brigade! We need more derivative crap that no one cares about.

[apotatojudge]

I think Wanda's show sucks, but she's really funny.

Especially on Curb Your Enthusiasm and in Pootie Tang.

SO, GO TO HELL.

[5InchTaint]

The show was "Wanda at Large" and it was on Fox. She was a TV reporter or something. It sucked and was promptly cancelled. I loathe her. I really do. Her voice is so shrill and irratating. Her whole bitchy head bobbing side to side attitude makes me want to smash her face in. She's the worst thing in "Curb your Enthusiasm", too. The only thing good about Pooty Tang was DC's short segments. Blah, blah, blah. I'm never going to talk about her again. I'm done.

[shelly]

cpt- i before e except after c

[5InchTaint]

What about beige, cleidoic, codeine, conscience, deify, deity, feign, dreidel, eider, eight, either, feign, feint, feisty, foreign, forfeit, freight, gleization, gneiss, greige, greisen, heifer, heigh-ho, height, heinous, heir, heist, leitmotiv, neigh, neighbor, neither, peignoir, prescient, rein, science, seiche, seidel, seine, seismic, seize, sheik, society, sovereign, surfeit, teiid, veil, vein, weight, weir, and weird?

HUH?!?! WHAT ABOUT THEM!!??!!

[shelly]

sorry.

grievance not greivance.

[CptPlanet]

You registered on a comedy message board and your first post was a trivial complaint about spelling. That's so internet.

Welcome aboard. :)

[shelly]

wow. so that's "so internet"? I had no idea. well, my apologies for being "so internet" on the internet.

[freetibetwpurch]

What i call "so internet" is being super defensive to someone who ultimately welcomed you to the message board. So damaged...

[shelly]

THE AVENGER!!!

[5InchTaint]

THE...ERADICATOR!!!

[CptPlanet]

freetibet is running for mayor of canada in 2008 and I'M VOTING FOR HIM/HER.

[agent_PUNT]

I agree with potato, again. Except the Curb stuff she did should have been kept to a minimum. If she was just in the episode about the terrorist attacks, that would have been perfect.

she was funny in that.

but that's it.

Cpt, you would have loved her being interviewed on Leno...watching that would have made your stomach fill with acid.

And not the good kind of acid.

[apotatojudge]

Originally posted by agent_PUNT
her being interviewed on Leno.


I saw that! I know it was the standard talk show host sets up comedian for joke, but she had me laughing a good deal at one of her bits. But then she kept the joke going too long. Goddamnit, I have no idea what it was.

Oh, wait, it's coming back to me now... Something about Kobe Bryant. Oh, I think it was how he had had knee surgery that morning but then allegedly was able to rape a girl that same day and how that he must have had a really good doctor.


She's funny.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by apotatojudge

She's funny.

I know I should just let this go but I'm afraid I'm going to have to debate you point for point on this one. Here's my argument:

http://img98.exs.cx/img98/869/wandaSykes_1.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/5541/wandaSykes_2.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/4144/wandaSykes_3.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/1449/wandaSykes_4.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/5668/wandaSykes_5.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/8893/wandaSykes_6.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/6241/wandaSykes_7.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/138/wandaSykes_8.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/961/wandaSykes_9.jpg
http://img98.exs.cx/img98/7759/wandaSykes_10_a10.jpg

The facts speak for themselves, and they're saying "Fuck you."

[apotatojudge]

Man,

now that's funny.

[Mang0]

I have no idea who\what you're talking about but I agree with everyone except myself as I'm spouting rancid turd out my pie hole.

[CptPlanet]

That's all I ever do around here and I'm the number 1 poster! I'm a living success story. Keep up the fight Mang0!

[Mang0]

Power to the Pie hole!