On the subject of Stanhope

[CptPlanet]

Yes, Doug Stanhope. Yes, one of the guys who ruined the Man Show, if such a thing was possible.

Listen to his standup. Particularly the Die Laughing album. I just grabbed it tonight because I had the bandwidth to spare, and it fucking blew me away. Who would have thought that such undiscovered brilliance lay lurking beneath a garbage heap of mediocre but high-profile work.

Honestly, this album is one of the top five comedy CDs I've ever heard. Ignore The Man Show. Ignore the Girls Gone Wild informercials. That's not the real Doug Stanhope. It's easy to slag the guy for the doing all that shit, but if you give his standup an honest chance, you will find one of the most brilliant, angry, original and funny performers currently living. We all forgive Patton for doing King of Queens. Shit, comics have to make a living too.

Die Laughing, which was apparently recorded a month after 9/11, has some of the most relevant and dead-on political material I've ever heard. He hated Bush before hating Bush was the thing to do.

Get it and listen to it and if you don't like it then report to this thread and let me know so that I can hate you more than I probably already do, faggot.

[neognosis]

Something to take the Edge Off is my personal favorite. In fact, when I saw Doug live and bought a cd after the show that's the one he recommended, so I guess it's his favorite too.

I've been following Doug for a while now, and you're right, you really can't get a feel for his comedy when it's been filtered/censored for TV. He and Rogan talk about how they thought the Man Show would be fun, but ran into so many problems with censors, and the biggest problem with taking over somebody else's show is there are so many preconceptions of how it's supposed to be. They just didn't have the freedom to do so many things that they wanted to do, like calling the Juggies the Needy Cunts (Joe's idea).

I like Joe Rogan too. I saw him about a year ago and the first thing he talked about on stage was how dumb Fear Factor is. I believe he said, "We're running out of shit to do with these dumb motherfuckers. I guess next season we're just going to beat them with sticks until there's one left standing."

But Doug is hilarious. Give me about a week and I'll have some audio from a show I recorded. :D

Edit: Hey, why did my thing change? I liked being Ali G's half brother!

[CptPlanet]

Awesome! I like Joe Rogan's standup too. Also I forgot to mention that Doug runs (or used to run) this awesome site called baiting.org, where they posed as 13 year old's and baited pedophiles into trying to fuck them. It was comedy with a purpose.

That sucks that the censors turned the Man Show into a suckfest.

[neognosis]

This one is my favorite. Doug is "PorkPipeAnnie." Sorry about the length.

Joshey10: hey
PorkPipeAnnie: Yes?
Joshey10: im 23 m ny
PorkPipeAnnie: Great! I love NY.
Joshey10: kool
Joshey10: i horny
Joshey10: *im
PorkPipeAnnie: Poor bastard. Want some help jacking off?
Joshey10: ya
Joshey10: will you?
PorkPipeAnnie: Sure, what do you like/
Joshey10: im 5'10'', brown hair, brown eyes
Joshey10: tan
PorkPipeAnnie: No, what are you into?
Joshey10: i like sex
PorkPipeAnnie: Say I was a hooker and you were going to kill me afterwards anyway. What would you do to me first?
Joshey10: i would get head
PorkPipeAnnie: Thats all?
PorkPipeAnnie: Just head?
PorkPipeAnnie: Would you cut it off first?
Joshey10: you do something
PorkPipeAnnie: Ok, so I am a hooker and you want head.
Joshey10: i'd want you to do stuff to me
Joshey10: anything
PorkPipeAnnie: You bring me to a hourly-rate crack hotel.
PorkPipeAnnie: You take out a Poulan Chainsaw X-T 950.
PorkPipeAnnie: The whine of the motor terrifies me.
PorkPipeAnnie: Without so much as a crack in your expression, you saw off my head.
PorkPipeAnnie: Now you take my bloody skull, pull open the mouth and drop it onto your rock hard cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: It falls top-heavy and your big dick pokes out the neck like a turd sneaking out of an asshole
PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come yet?
PorkPipeAnnie: Hello?
Joshey10: no
Joshey10: not yet
PorkPipeAnnie: Ok.
PorkPipeAnnie: My corpse lies on the floor with blood cascading from the neck.
PorkPipeAnnie: You do another bump of meth and try to tug some life into your syphlittic twisted cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: Cop car sirens wail in the night and give you the fear.
PorkPipeAnnie: But they aren't coming for you. Not yet.
PorkPipeAnnie: You spread the ass cheeks of my cooling corpse and find that I voided my colon when I was killed.
PorkPipeAnnie: You stick two fingers into the waste and hold it under your nose.
PorkPipeAnnie: You know that smell. That is the smell of Power.
PorkPipeAnnie: It makes your cock swell like a thumb caught in a car door.
PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come yet?
Joshey10: no
Joshey10: almost
PorkPipeAnnie: You remeber that I am a heroin mule and have recently come back from a trip to Bolivia. On a hunch you jam your entire hand to the elbow in my ass.
PorkPipeAnnie: You can feel the skin and flesh tear.
PorkPipeAnnie: You feel a baggie way up in my colon and no you've struck paydirt.
PorkPipeAnnie: You remove it and your whole arm is dripping blood and feces.
PorkPipeAnnie: You lick it clean like a wounded animal.
PorkPipeAnnie: There's a knock at the door.
PorkPipeAnnie: *Knock - Knock*
PorkPipeAnnie: I said Knock - Knock!
Joshey10: who's there?
PorkPipeAnnie: "It's Thaddeus, Kareena's pimp. Where's my mutherfuckin ho at?"
Joshey10: not here
PorkPipeAnnie: You look through the keyhole and start to panic.
PorkPipeAnnie: Its the biggest angriest black man you have ever layed eyes on.
PorkPipeAnnie: He kicks in the door before you have a chance to slide the deadbolt.
PorkPipeAnnie: There you are with his prize whore's head impaled on your cock and his bag of Horse in your hand.
PorkPipeAnnie: "Mutherfucker, You killed my best ho"
PorkPipeAnnie: You are speechless.
PorkPipeAnnie: He tells you that there is a high paying client waiting to fuck that ho, who you have no ruined.
PorkPipeAnnie: They only way he will let you live is if you dress up like a girl and let this guy fuck you.
Joshey10: eeeeewwwwwww.....
Joshey10: n
Joshey10: NO
PorkPipeAnnie: You jump at the chance.
PorkPipeAnnie: Wait a minute.
Joshey10: no
Joshey10: im not getting fucked
PorkPipeAnnie: A minute ago I had you licking blood and feces of the fist you just pulled out of a headless, dead hookers ass... but NOW I went too far?
Joshey10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: Oh, My bad.
PorkPipeAnnie: So any way..
PorkPipeAnnie: Here you are covered in the shit and innards of a dead crack whore, fresh from fucking her in her decapitated head.
PorkPipeAnnie: Her pipm is now standing in front of your naked body and he's pissed off.
PorkPipeAnnie: pimp*
PorkPipeAnnie: He grabs the back of your head like a basketball and pushes it down on his dirty, uncut, stinkin black cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: You take it in your mouth and try not to vomit.
Joshey10: no
Joshey10: sick
PorkPipeAnnie: He tells you that in order for him to come, you have to lick his ass.
Joshey10: no
Joshey10: fuck you
PorkPipeAnnie: What are you, a racist?
Joshey10: no
Joshey10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: I didn't say you LIKED it, did I?
Joshey10: no
PorkPipeAnnie: Do you kill hookers with chainsaws?
PorkPipeAnnie: No, you don't. But did you get all pissed off when I put it in the fantasy?

[CptPlanet]

neo you should post here more. :)

[chucknoblet]

the CapCity dvd that's been floating around is great. the show gets completely out of doug's hands and turns into a town hall discussion filled with drunks and he's loving it. at times he tries to go into a bit but just gets derailed left and right. stanhope's great.

[neognosis]

Is that the one that starts with Alex Jones going on about the Illuminati or some shit? I've heard about it but haven't seen it. Alex Jones is such a trip. Not that I disagree with him necessarily, but he is a character....

[chucknoblet]

that's the one. i am on the fence about jones. i agree with his message, but he came across as a bully. especially when he was threatening to beat up that dude who heckled him.

[CptPlanet]

I listened to Something to Take the Edge Off, and, although I hesitate to call it better than Die Laughing, it was definitely on par. This guy has so many albums out with mostly new material it's amazing. Why the fucking is Doug Stanhope so underrated? Christ, I thought he was a sellout zero until a few days ago. He's in the same league as Cross and Patton Oswalt and all those guys.

[neognosis]

Good question, Cap'n. I could offer a few theories, but no definite answers.

Doug has a heavy cult following in certain areas.... Vegas, Austin, Britain.... but it's not very widespread. He's not likely to sell out shows in most places. And despite his abuse of cigarettes, drugs and alcohol, it doesn't look like he'll do the Bill Hicks thing and become famous posthumously either.

I don't know what to tell you.

[3v3+Z]

Should we kill 'im and find out?

You know, Jerry Minor & Scott Adsit did little things on "The Man Show" in the post-Jimmy&Adam days as well.

[CptPlanet]

Minor is all over the place though. Crossballs, Trigger Happy TV. It's amazing how many places you'll find him if you know who you're looking for.

[chris56789]

Originally posted by chucknoblet
the CapCity dvd that's been floating around is great. the show gets completely out of doug's hands and turns into a town hall discussion filled with drunks and he's loving it. at times he tries to go into a bit but just gets derailed left and right. stanhope's great.

Does anyone have the video or audio of this? This sounds to good!!

[5InchTaint]

Originally posted by CptPlanet
He's in the same league as Cross and Patton Oswalt and all those guys.

Patton Oswalt is nowhere near David Cross' league. What are you smoking?

[CptPlanet]

Have you ever seen either of them live? Then shut up.

[apotatojudge]

Capt, your posts have gotten really gay over the past week.



"FAG!"

[5InchTaint]

I've seen both of them live on more than one occasion, so fuck you.

[CptPlanet]

/\ /\ /\ FAGGOTS /\ /\ /\

[terris]

bravo *slow hand clap

[CptPlanet]

i drop bombz.

[5InchTaint]

oh sit!

[CptPlanet]

I'm comfortably seated already thank you.

[scotch-romanian]

I just listened to "The Great White Stanhope" in my car today, and I have a new theory that "The Banana Lady" is the best comedy anecdote EVER RECORDED. Can anyone confirm this?

I shit you guys not, it's up there with David's "Answer Your Telephone" and any of the Bill Hicks drug stories.

[heroin bob]

'Banana Lady' was a bonding experience between my father and I on a long road trip. It was soon after that I was able to finally convince him that 'Blue Collar' was not comedy.

My latest favorite bit of Doug's is the 'Flight 800 / 7yr old girl who died in a plane crash' deal. I think it is 'Great White'. Righteous indignation is always funny.

[fritter]

cross used to do a bit (back in like '97, before most of you guys were born) about he and his buddy going to some low-end circusy entertainment thing and the elephant pissed on the old people in the front row. also, he and his friend were on mushrooms at the time. that is still my favorite comedy anecdote.

heroin bob, thank you for the father's day tribute. very touching, but not in a molesty way (is there an e between the t and y in molesty?).

it's a tough call, but i think this thread contains chris56789's greatest post.

[heroin bob]

Originally posted by fritter
heroin bob, thank you for the father's day tribute. very touching, but not in a molesty way (is there an e between the t and y in molesty?).

No, it was touching in a molest-y way too. Best Memorial Day weekend ever... not to mention the sexiest.