Impressions in stand up comedy.

[tjamick]

is it bad to do impressions in stand up no matter how thier done?
next month i'm goning to do some stand up for the first time, and have two really good "impressions" i'd like to do. if this was just at a regular club i wouldnt be worried about it, but its for an alternative comedy night at a coffee house near my house, so i'm feeling a bit more cautious then i normally would.

[5InchTaint]

Do what ever you feel is funny. Fuck the audience.

[Trevor K]

I agree with 5Inch 100%.

Fuck the audience. Everyone has fans you just need to find yours.

[tjamick]

thanks. when i think about it, they arent really impressions. i mean they technically are, but not like regular ones. the ones i plan on doing are the one of dave coulier if he couldnt do a bullwinkle voice ("thats $.75") and another one i made a while ago thats of the very first stand up comic. i put on a fake mustash and in a 20's accent, i say "What’s the deal with these areoplanes? They say that the only thing to survive a crash is the pilot’s scarf, so I ask you this; why can’t they make the whole THING out of the pilots scarf?" so they'll probably be pretty well recieved, and if not, they can lick my nuts.

[CptPlanet]

bring a tape recorder or recording device of some kind please please please.


also trust your instincts tj. you know you're funny, we know you're funny. do things that you think would make people with good senses of humor laugh.

[tjamick]

i plan on taping it, but most of the stuff i'm gonna do will be older jokes that i know work. i do have some things that not many people have heard, but like i said most of it will be recycled. the main point of it, to me, is more to get my feet wet then anything else. also, the fact that it will be on election day, it will give me a good chance to use some of my political jokes (they're only semi topical. alot of it has more to do with the economy, child labor, religious fanatics, the flag fad, and porn)

[apotatojudge]

I like the airplane joke!


That reminds me of that State skit where it's comedians before comedy was invented, and it's just three guys doing the "who's on first?" bit but not confusing. Hard to explain... does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[tjamick]

i think i've seen that one, but i dont remember it very well.
i came up with the areoplane thing when i was really high and thinking about stand up. i thought about how the first guy to ever do the black box bit was actually a pretty funny guy. then i started to wonder what he was like, and it was right after waching monsters of megaphone, so i figured that he was from the twenties.

[neognosis]

Originally posted by apotatojudge
That reminds me of that State skit where it's comedians before comedy was invented, and it's just three guys doing the "who's on first?" bit but not confusing.

Didn't KITH do that? Kevin and Dave playing some vaudeville act, with Dave playing the straight man but he fucked everything up by playing it too straight.

"Oh, I see what the problem is! You're getting confused because the players' names sound like words. You're not used to the name Hu because his father was Chinese, and then Watt isn't such an odd name because James Watt invented the steam engine, and then Ideno does kind of sound like the phrase 'I don't know,' but it's actually Ideno, Phil Ideno."

Something like that. :D

[agent_PUNT]

the scarf thing is great.... do you have other jokes for that character?

[terris]

you should make a joke about the civil rights movement in germany and their outstanding treatment of jews, and mention that you think the trend will carry well into through the 20s and most likely the 30s as well, as the germans are a nice good caring people who embrace the different ethnicities living within their country

[tjamick]

i had another one for that guy, but i forgot it. i doubt it was very good anyways. i'm sure i'll come up with more because i have a bit of an obsession with the 20's accent and bad jokes. when i make some more i'll put them up. i also had a character that was a rich comic, but it was mediocre at best.

[agent_PUNT]

1920's:

What's with all these white guys in chain gangs now?

Next thing you know you'll see the chinese using forks!

[apotatojudge]

Originally posted by neognosis
Didn't KITH do that? Kevin and Dave playing some vaudeville act, with Dave playing the straight man but he fucked everything up by playing it too straight.

"Oh, I see what the problem is! You're getting confused because the players' names sound like words. You're not used to the name Hu because his father was Chinese, and then Watt isn't such an odd name because James Watt invented the steam engine, and then Ideno does kind of sound like the phrase 'I don't know,' but it's actually Ideno, Phil Ideno."

Something like that. :D

yea, i remember that... but the state did one that i'm talking about. it was on their cbs special.

[CptPlanet]

TJ could you say this in your 1920s voice:

"Ubiquitous institutionalized racism is a gas, eh fellas? I sure am torn to bits about the prohibition of alcohol, but all the Morphine I'm doing sure takes the edge off! Plus it's safer and it will surely be legal forever!

I love playing these college shows, because they don't let women in. It's a good thing too, because reading-related brain fevers are the number one killer of dames and broads aged 18 to 24."

[Dart Shitter]

You should start your act by doing an impression of an "impression," like meeting some one famous you admire(make it some one funny and nonsensical like Bea Arthur, or Dudley Moore as Arthur, or fuck it King Arthur) and act all moved and shit and then you'll find out who the retards are...gotta go to SOcila Cultural Geography, the capital of COlombia is Bogota.

[Trevor K]

Dudley Moore is fuckin awesome (RIP homie.)

I loved that guy.

[tjamick]

cpt, do you mind if i use that?
i'm gonna be making a few more of them as well, but i think it would be 20 ways to keen if i could give yours a go.

[CptPlanet]

dude you'd use my joke? that would be fucking awesome! in other words YES.

[tjamick]

i may use it, but the begining of it is a bit too unfunny that it may bore the audiance. its not un-funny in a funny andy kaufman way, rather in an unfunny martian lawrance way. so i may have to use the begining of another conversation up untill the part where i aknowlage the fact that the conversation is a bit.

[tjamick]

another joke i made for the 20's comic (i just made it up, so it still needs some work) is "so, have you heard about this new drug? you know the one i'm talking about, the polio vaccine. they say that it makes your immune system stronger, ecspecialy for the older gents, mid-twenties to early thirtys.---thats funny, i always thought that one of the benifits to getting up there was getting polio. well if i do get it, you can take my wife. please."

[apotatojudge]

Oh my god. If I could just live where you live, and also I was a man 'cause women aren't funny...

I'd totally go on after you and do the same premise, but instead be an Andy Kaufman-esque comedian from the 20's. And I'd take out a victrola and do a "Here I come to save the day" type thing, only to something like Carmina Barina.




Also, no offense TJ, but it's really amusing for me when I read your posts to read them aloud and pronounce everything as you have spelled it. Fucking brilliant!

[tjamick]

my spelling is part of the joke!!!


actually, i was thinking about how funny it would be if i got up and did a really hacky set, then some one else came up and did the exact same jokes.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by tjamick
my spelling is part of the joke!!!


actually, i was thinking about how funny it would be if i got up and did a really hacky set, then some one else came up and did the exact same jokes.

if it's an alternative comedy night, go ahead and try it out. altcom fags love high concept shit like that. i know i do!

EDIT: BTW the term altcom is now trademarked to ME.

[tjamick]

the idea was actually a sketch idea i had while ago. i was gonna have the two of them having a joke off and one of them was going to become uber-famous and the other one would end up homeless
i dont know anyone else who would do it with me. maybe if i meet some cool people there, i'll mention the idea for the next time they have it.

[conun]

is it too early to do a rodney dangerfeild joke? i hear there's a 3 week rule to doing a joke about a recent tragedy. anyway, not sure what kind of dangerfield joke. maybe the audience would get mad and shout at you like, "hey! that's disrespectful" and you could be all like " i know! it's cause i get no respect! anybody know a good new and used coffin store? my wife took all my money in the divorce. nevermind. anybody know a good taxidermist? not for me, for my wife! (loud applause from the men. all the women in the audience cross their arms). i get no respect!"


ok....maybe it's too soon.

[conun]

if you don't use this dangerfield material, i'm gonna.

[CptPlanet]

i've been doing awesome christopher reeve jokes since the second i heard he died.

[conun]

i starting early with my christopher reeves jokes. now that he's dead, i'm can only think of variations of my old jokes.

example from before:" isn't it funny that christopher reeves is in a wheelchair?"

now i'm saying: "isn't it funny that christopher reeves is dead?"

[CptPlanet]

The best joke is whenever anyone mentions that he died, in your most deadpan voice, go "Do you think he'll ever walk again?"

[conun]

hehe....you make me laugh with what you say about the dead one.

[Stabby]

I LIKE IT TJ!

I like the 20's comic. i think (which means nothing) that it would be funny if, since this is pre-comedy, that the 20s guy only made observations with no punchlines. like "so does anybody here still use the telegraph? I do." and "How bout them polio vaccsines? They seem pretty popular." followed by "They say that fdr has polio you know. ..." and "boy that henry ford sure is rich..."

but Im also stupid sorry.

[tjamick]

i hope mr. ford builds me an auty-mobile

[CptPlanet]

i like stabby's idea. you're gonna fucking kill up there teej.

[tjamick]

i hope so. i'm not too sure about how good the rest of my material is. i have a few jokes about child labor/child beatings, mcdonalds buying up homeless peoples corpses, taking out the meat, having them stuffed and dressed as ronald the clown, and sat outside of the stores, a couple jokes about heaven and the religious right, a chick that sang to me during sex, american flags, and disabled people. i just hope that i delever it right and have enough jokes involved

[conun]

how long have you been doing stand-up if you don't mind my asking?

[CptPlanet]

how long is your set?

[tjamick]

i've never done stand up before. i'm not too sure how long my act is. i've been writing alot of new material in the last week and adding alot of new jokes to older bits i have. i'm gonna be doing some trial runs in for my friends pretty soon and see what kind of feed back i get, then i'll change my act accordingly.

[Pali]

Awesome Teej, looks like you're really gonna be living the dream buddy. That's some good material right there.

In related news, if anyone is in London in November and wants to see a bunch of shitty student stand-up comedy at the UCL union bar, you can come see my performance! To be honest my material isn't nearly as strong yet, and I really hate doing voices so I can't steal the 20s comic thing.

The best response (from friends) has been to my "Am I a bad person for thinking at the end of Schindlers List 'Boy, I could sure go for a bloopers reel right now!' joke, after which I give some amusing examples of possible bloopers. Though that isn't so much a joke, as something offensive to say.

I'm gonna bomb.

[tjamick]

leave out the part about being a bad person for it.

[Pali]

Yeah, you're right. I need writers.

[tjamick]

i do too. what i've been doing lately is taking sketch ideas and turning them into bits. thats where i got the idea about two people doing the same hackiy bit.

[Stabby]

What you guys need is a hug and I'm just the guy to deliever one! Courtesy of Team Friendship!

[conun]

holy guacamole!!! i just read tjamick's dvd list and it's almost identical to mine! it's like we're the same person. are you gay too?

cause i'm not gay. faggot.

[the dude man]

not stay away from walken, connery,and shatner cause everyone has got one of thoes guys and most of the time they suck if u got impressions go with unusual ones like cage, or my personal favorite to do a lil bit of slater. and unless your playin a kindy garden show no cartoon characters its annoying damn it.but its hard these days to do impressions in stand up the last guy i seen do a good job of it was frank caliendo of mad tv and college tour fame. but hey if u got the goods flaunt it baby just stay away from that trifecta but thats just my opinion. and if some one already wrote somethin similar to this sorry did not mean to copy just didnt want to read all the posts.

[CptPlanet]

Come back and see us again when you learn English you fucking crumbface.

[agent_PUNT]

CPT man, calm down... if you're gonna insult the kid, atleast make it funny or original... being plain old mean is just getting old. Haven't we gone over this?

[tjamick]

so dude man, did you even read any of the other posts or did you just post without any knowlage of what the impessions i plan on doing are?
next time you should take 5 minutes to see what all has been said before you make a total dick out of your self

[agent_PUNT]

wow, you Americans are more like Ameri-cants!

no wonder the world not-so-secretly hates you.

Then again, if my entire family, including my 7 year old brother, worked in a sweatshop making thousands of dollars worth of merchandise that is heading to the US, while at the same time, we barely have enough money to keep ourselves alive...maybe I too would blame the average american for my horrid living/working conditions.

Then again, I only have myself to blame...not willing to die to try and get a fair wage rate. I mean that's pretty shitty of me.

Love always,

Sinar Vinush

[agent_PUNT]

Now THAT was an impression!

of course it wasn't funny.

[tjamick]

it was about as funny as every other impression i've seen.

[CptPlanet]

PUNT your signature seems to argue that human behavior is determinstic and for the record I disagree with that assertion.

[agent_PUNT]

well... CPT....i'm stating that there is no such thing as random...if you look hard enough at any event...anything...you can see all the reasons that the event took place...in most cases the variables are so numerous that it would be impossible to truly account for them all...but they are out there....

Take any example... big or small... there is always a connection to events in the past.... every "choice" you make is simply based on every choice you have ever made....which is based on your genetic make-up and your personal experiences...

Choice is the greatest illusion ever.

The funny thing is if you "choose" to reject this theory, that just means that every choice you've ever made forced you to reject this theory...and if you look hard enough you can find all the reasons that led to you rejecting this theory... your religion, your attachement to free will, your stubborness, your fears etc....

when you walk down the street you put your left foot then your right...then left...then right... each step is based on the step before....so is everything in life...you do things based on everything you've done before....

So that is why you can't be judged based on your actions on Earth, because all your actions were played out before you were born... and your parents actions were played out before they were born.... and back it goes....

[3v3+Z]

http://www.disjoncte.com.ch/hm/pictures/bullshit/bullshit.gif

[5InchTaint]

Please, everybody.

[apotatojudge]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/juwannapizza/staytune.jpg

[3v3+Z]

http://www.eyunta.com/img/salador.jpg

[apotatojudge]

Steve, can I see the other side of that drawing? It looks interesting.

[3v3+Z]

No. Sorry. It ain't mine. I just did a google image search for notebook doodling -- 'cuz that seemed to be the direction things had taken -- and that came up. Actually, THIS came up:
http://www.eyunta.com/img/hamburgerpants.jpg
But I found the other picture on the same page and thought it was a little more interesting.

By the way, there's nothing wrong with impressions in stand up. You can use ANY of the things that conventional whiz-dumb tells us are hacky gimmicks: props, musical instruments, magic, juggling, ventriloquism... Just make sure it's fucking FUNNY! Shouldn't be a problem for our beloved TeeJay.

Time for another confession: I juggle. I've never done juggling stand up, or ANY kind of stand up for that matter. But I actually HAVE performed as a juggler in the distant past. It never went particularly well. I would do some HARD-ass stuff, and lots OF it, so of course I would end up dropping a lot of stuff. I hoped the audience would view my dropping stuff in the same forgiving way as they would some kind of athlete. You can't get a hit every time you come up to bat. You can't always tackle the... ball... guy... however the fuck football works. I don't follow sports. Anyway, I doubt the audience ever viewed it that way.

[the dude man]

Oh and by the way ass faces i do know how to use the english language i just thought i didnt have to use it properly with a bunch of illeterate retartds who are sitting in thier moms basements and jerking off to re-runs of mister show and kids in the hall. Hey T.J. Hooker i did read what impressions you had planned on doin the 1920's comedian, you fucking Conan O'Brein rip off magician, but i was just expressing my opinion as to celebrity impression but i guess the almighty virgins of this forum are to good to let a person with a brain and opinion say what they want. Oh and Cpt i would do an I fucked your momma joke but that bitch was to ugly and her twat was to worn out I mean for Christs sake even my dog wouldnt fuck that bitch's shit. Her cunt is so black it makes Wesly Snipes look white.

[5InchTaint]

You suck as much as my drawings do but you're not nearly as interesting.

[3v3+Z]

Nice scrotum.

[tjamick]

Originally posted by the dude man
Hey T.J. Hooker
burn. you're one hell of an origanal.

Originally posted by the dude man
i did read what impressions you had planned on doin the 1920's comedian, you fucking Conan O'Brein rip off magician,
yeah buddy, i never claimed to be the first person to do an olde timey stand up bit. and i'm not familiar with conans one at all.
hey, why dont you post some clips of your stand up? i'd love to hear you talk about how black people have more groove in their step and how your wife makes you buy her tampons.
Originally posted by the dude man
but i was just expressing my opinion as to celebrity impression but i guess the almighty virgins of this forum are to good to let a person with a brain and opinion say what they want.

first, kudo's on your first use of a period. you get a cookie.
secondly, by saying that you didnt bring any new ideas here. we all know how hacky celebrity impessions are. and thats besides the point. you cant make a readable sentance and thats my problem. now i'm no spelloligist, and i may not be the most organized writer, but my posts, for the most part, are comprehendable. you have yet to make one post that proves to have been done by any one with an IQ abouve 35.
Originally posted by the dude man
Oh and Cpt i would do an I fucked your momma joke but that bitch was to ugly and her twat was to worn out I mean for Christs sake even my dog wouldnt fuck that bitch's shit. Her cunt is so black it makes Wesly Snipes look white.

we're back on THAT subject?

[CptPlanet]

Someone give me a summary of this PM he sent me because I'm not going to fucking read it.


Well i would leave but ya know you want me gone so bad i just think ill stay and why am i gonna stay becuase secretly i am in love with you. What the hell is your malfunction do you get off on well written english, you do dont you you sick fuck you sit there and beat your shit with a ruler calling your cock a bad boy cause it cant spell right( oh and by the way i know thats not proper english) you see unlike most of the people here including yourself I have a life and dont spend all my time here why becuase my girlfriend loves givin me head, now shut you dog shit eating face and go and have mommy kiss your cock and make it all better like she would do anyway.

[the dude man]

I have no idea what your people fucking problems are with me but shut the fuck up if you dont like what i have to say then dont read it you have eyes use them its not like someone is holding a tazer to your sac and forcing you to read my posts out loud, unless your kinky like that but thats besides the point. You fucking people take this stuff way to seriously I bet most of probably have like murals of bob and david and write ode's to their greatness but come on im just jokin around on here lighten the fuck up. Just leave me the fuck alone and ill leave you alone.

[5InchTaint]

You're an annoying fuck and nobody likes you.

[Treebeard]

Originally posted by CptPlanet
Someone give me a summary of this PM he sent me because I'm not going to fucking read it.

I would leave, but since you want me to do so, I won't. Another reason I intend to stay is because I secretly lovve you. What is your problem? Perhaps you achieve sexual climax by reading proper English. Yes, I believe this is the case. I would wager that you slap your erect penis with a ruler and call it a "bad boy" due to its lact of spelling aptitude. By the way, I am aware of the fact that this is not written in proper English. Unlike most of the BUTM posters (yourself included) I have a life which prevents me from spending all of my time here. For instance, I have a girlfriend who truly enjoys fellating me. Please refrain from speaking. I suggest that you have your mother place her lips on your erect penis. You will enjoy it, as this is a normal activity fot the two of you.

[CptPlanet]

that was masterful treebird. also why does everyone call you treebird when your name clearly says treebeard? i started doing it because everyone else was, but i want to know what started it all.

[Treebeard]

Originally posted by CptPlanet
that was masterful treebird. also why does everyone call you treebird when your name clearly says treebeard? i started doing it because everyone else was, but i want to know what started it all.

Thank you for the kind words.

Everyone calls me treebird because Julie does it sometimes and God knows we all want to be more like her.

[the dude man]

wow holy shit i didnt think what i said sound so beautiful brings a tear to mi eye.

[Treebeard]

I call official dude man translator.

[CptPlanet]

you got it buddy. whatever you want, it's yours.

[tjamick]

i think that seth got eaten by a 13 year old girl

[Treebeard]

Originally posted by tjamick
i think that seth got eaten by a 13 year old girl

last time a 13 year old girl ate me she was pulling pubes out of her teeth for a week

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by tjamick
i think that seth got eaten by a 13 year old girl

tee hee i like ashlee simpson

[tjamick]

she has a jew nose

[agent_PUNT]

dude man; if you would just break up your paragraphs into "user friendly" sentences... people would stop bothering you.

plus, if you didn't use cheap insults it would also help your cause.

ofcourse, you can continue to post and argue... or you can listen to me.

i have a feeling that you will continue to post and argue.

[CptPlanet]

Originally posted by tjamick
she has a jew nose

i'd let her control my media if you catch my drift ;)

[the dude man]

thank you for tellin me about the paragraph things and secondly dont insult me and i wont torture u with my cheap insults.

[the dude man]

id let her sing into my microphone if u catch my drift

[5InchTaint]

I'd let her slobber on and gobble my cock until I came all over her tongue if you catch my drift

[5InchTaint]

By the way, if you did catch my drift, a couple shots of penicillin will clean that right up.

[the dude man]

lmao could one be more blatant than that and i like i would have to get a tetnis shot if i caught any of your drift.

[agent_PUNT]

Originally posted by the dude man
lmao could one be more blatant than that and i like i would have to get a tetnis shot if i caught any of your drift.

I'm not sure if you could hear that in Cinncinati, but that was just the sound of my jaw falling off and landing on a pile of exploding dynamite.

In an unrelated note, don't you love when people explain jokes.

dude man I have been with you since day one... don't screw this up.

[tjamick]

i always say that a joke isnt funny untill it's spelled out and analyized.

[pope333]

I think doing impressionis great. That is,if you really can do them. I know alot of people who think they can sing,or do a good impression of someone,but they really can't. So,never mind what friends or family might think of how you do it,cause most times those people will laugh at anything you say or do,anyway. They are not always the best people to rely on for an honest critique You need an objective audience to find out for sure. So,I say give it a shot and see how it works out.

One more thing-If you only have a couple,then try to put them in an appropriate place in your act. If one or more will ad to a joke or a line,then use it there. If not,maybe you could open with one and do a joke ot two in that charactor. Then,throw the other one somewhere either in the middle of your routine,or maybe at the end of your set to end with a little 'BANG'?

Good Luck!:)

[tjamick]

thanks. i ended my set with my impression because i knew it was my strongest bit. i like to do bizarre impressions, not celebrity ones. those kinds are over done and unless you can add a very unique twist to it. one that comes off the top of my head is ******unfunny alert****** an impression of bob dylan doing an impession of jack nicholson doing an impression of bob dylan.